The World is Wild at Heart and Crazy On Top

Date: August 3, 2006
Location: Wicker Park, Chicago, IL
Players: me + 10 wings

John was sick and couldn't make it, but I brought Effect and Jaydog with me to an 'audition' for the super secret Chicago lair. There were about 6 or so guys from the lair at this bar Salud, including David and Adam, whom I went out with after the meet n greet a couple nights ago. There were a couple of new lair pua's I've never met, and another dude who was 'auditioning'. I sarged the place clean, I opened up about 90 percent of the approachable sets in the club, and it's a semi big club for Wicker Park. Sort of a slow night, though. David - 'Dapper' - told me I passed to the next round, whatever that entails. Mental note to read up about 'hook point' - I think I reached hook point with 1 or 2 sets, but I was more concerned with approaching/being a good wing than I was closing, especially since the girls I met that I really liked tonight turned out to be semi-hired guns. I was constantly introducing Effect as 'my friend the music video director'.

APPROACH 1:
I walk up to an HB8.5 brunette who was sitting alone at the bar texting on her sidekick. I ask her about the relative merits of sidekicks and treos, and tell her about - dhv - how I know how to hack the sidekick so you can have unlimited pictures. Some vibing and fluff talk about martini bars, tequilas. Wings thought this was going well, but I eject to look for the lair guys. Plan was to come back to this later so it would be an easy set to approach in front of the lair guys, I never got the chance to do this. Tied for cutest girl of the night.

APPROACH 2:
In front of the lair guys, I open a 6 set of HB8/9's. I ask them about my friend who wants to break up with her bf on myspace, first, then google - I mess up the google question 'have you ever googled someone on myspace? (doh! on myspace)'. They laugh and ask me if I'm giving a questionaire, but they get a kick out of it. I persist longer than I would have if the lair guys weren't looking on. Blonde hottie I was initially working walks away, I turn to a tall latina one and game her for a good 10 minutes. She was digging me. I find out that they are like, club promotions girls or shooter girls, that are there on their night off(?) something like that. I tell her maybe my friend JayDog can model for them. I am gaming this girl pretty hard, and probably could have closed. She excuses herself to go to the bathroom. While she's in the bathroom the lair guys come by, I don't want to look like I'm just sitting there so I open another one... Lots of kino and ec from this one.

APPROACH 3:
I approach a 2 set of HB9s asian and latina - I focus on the asian since she was rawk, stacked routine and opener upon routine. Long set, I'm not sure if she was digging me but she was definitely vibing, laughing and giving me kino. Long set, I lay into the same type of jokes - hey I got a friend coming in from out of town, you know of any good martini bars, hey maybe my friend could model for you, you guys take any guys? maybe my friend JayDog could do this job, do you guys wear uniforms? stuff like that. Hot Hot girl. My big mistake - I actually made this mistake several times last night - was to ignore the latina, who is actually pretty hot. I try to bring in Effect to occupy the latina, but he doesn't get it - gives a story and winds up ejecting. The frikking ignored latina winds up dragging her off to the bathroom because she is feeling neglected. I hate that crap.

APPROACH 4:
Dapper grabs me and makes me wing 2 UG's with him. This set goes well, I bring in Effect and we launch into our music video director routine/vibing. I leave him to the UG's and go back to the HB9 asian. Someone puts a goddamn clipboard in her hand and she goes into 'club promotions' mode and collects our email addresses, and goes all hired gun on me. I lose all enthusiasm for gaming HB9 asian.

APPROACH 5;
I approach a 2 set - 1 UG and 1 HB7 brunette. I ask them some type of opinion on some dating question - HB7 is being a biatch. So I bring in Effect, and let him take over and clean up this mess.

I talked with another set of girls tonight too, but since I got introduced by Effect, I'm not going to count it as an approach.

After these sets we split with the pua's, they tell me I pass, and that I can meet them at another bar if I want but I passed. Me and my boys decide to go out to Exit. Here's where the night gets totally freaky:

Effect takes us to Exit, which is this industrial punk bar / S&M place. Upstairs it is a bar/dungeon. Weird scene. I split $25 bucks so that JayDog can be whipped in many different ways, have his ass paddled and balls tortured, get poked with a boot spur, have candle wax dripped on him, and be verbally abused, by 4 - extremely hot - gothic dominatrixes. Me and effect just sat back and laughed, occasionally we'd walk up and tell him to squeal like a pig and tell him what a worthless human being he was. JayDog is official fucked up. We took pics of his raw, shredded back and arms, I may post them in this blog to document his pervertedness.

105/250