I don't know what this means

I'm in my old car - a 2003 Jetta right around the time when I turned it in at the end of my lease. By that time the car was in very bad shape - there were a lot of 'dings' on the body, I think some major ones on the bumper, of course I had not been washing it or cleaning it on a regular basis so the inside was a mess - trash everywhere, some tickets, some bills, some important mail. At the end of my lease on that car I was so preoccupied with my Masters thesis that I let pretty much everything else in my life slide - including keeping up with the maintenance schedule on my car. I believe I was almost 10000 miles overdue to have the oil changed on that car, and it squeaked and grinded loudly whenever I drove it. People who rode with me would say, 'dude you should really change the oil'. Anyways that was my car. This was not a dream, it was more of a 'vision', although I don't remember when I first started having this vision - perhaps it's just me trying to motivate myself, which is alright because it's a positive vision. I've driven my car out to the middle of nowhere, I'm picturing I've driven it out to a dusty road in the middle of central Illinois, someplace where there are just cornfields and nature as far as the eye can see and not much else. I stop the car and I pull over at the side of the road.

Then, my wife and baby get in, fasten their seatbelts and car seats - and I begin to drive again. We drive a long way, into new landscapes that I do not recognize, but we seem to be following some internal sense of direction. Along the way the car changes until we are driving in a brand new car that smells inside as if it was just driven off the lot.

To the Harbormaster

To the Harbormaster

by Frank O'Hara
I wanted to be sure to reach you;
though my ship was on the way it got caught
in some moorings. I am always tying up
and then deciding to depart. In storms and
at sunset, with the metallic coils of the tide
around my fathomless arms, I am unable
to understand the forms of my vanity
or I am hard alee with my Polish rudder
in my hand and the sun sinking. To
you I offer my hull and the tattered cordage
of my will. The terrible channels where
the wind drives me against the brown lips
of the reeds are not all behind me. Yet
I trust the sanity of my vessel; and
if it sinks, it may well be in answer
to the reasoning of the eternal voices,
the waves which have kept me from reaching you.

5 year career plan

5 Year Career plan
1. Continue to work 20 hours overtime per week, continue to stay alert at current job to improve your standing within the organiation as best you can
2. Continue to study for certification exams in your spare time - for the foreseeable future you're interested in scjp, scwcd, scbcd, scea, cissp, pmp, possibly rhca or a linux cert of some type.
3. Continue to read and do javapassion online courses to keep your skillset sharp.
4. After 2 or 3 java certs, work on getting your resume and references together, get some recommendations and prepare to start interviewing.
5. You are interested in interviewing for a stable job at a decent company that will allow at least a modest raise and a chance to work on projects that will enhance your on the job experience, possibly give you some type of leadership experience.
6. Make sure that your next job gives some type of tuition assistance as once you have landed at the next job your next move will be to pursue an mba at NU or UC.
7. MBA at NU or UC, focus on eventually moving on to a CIO or executive position at a prestigious technology firm.