Return of the Undiscovered Self

Due to what I feel is informational overload, I am going to limit my ongoing study of the Venusian arts to the following sources:

1. Audio programs and eBooks for structure
2. mASF and MM archives for immediate advice and fresh material
3. Field experience

I'm going to start

1. An ongoing cheat sheet, continually revised - general structure, openers, negs, dhv routines, time constraints.
2. An ongoing set of notes on this webblog.
3. Database of openers, negs, dhv routines, time constraints.

Oh man.

I told myself that I would try to close every set from now on. I can already tell this is going to hurt. 3 sets so far this afternoon.

Walking around Wrigleyville, Chicago - on my way to get lunch...
My goals today are: practice C+F, and always try to close.

Date: June 26, 2006

Location: 7-11, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

Yes, I tried to run game on a - probably 18 year old - HB6 redhead chick that works at 7-11. I was there buying a bottle of gatorade. I was pissed at myself for chickening out on the street outside the store with an HB blonde. As I paid for my drink, she smiled at me and I wasn't even considering gaming her, but I figured I'd try to practice smiling and my eye contact. I must have held the smile/EC a long time because she looked down and started giving me DDB eyes.

HB8: what? (giggles)
me: what? (smiling)
HB8: You're smiling at me.
me: You're smiling at me.
HB8: That's $xx. Thanks.
me: How's it going today?
HB8: a'ight.
(I pay - but then I stop, decide to turn this into a set, and turn around)
me: I forgot - I'm lost.
HB8: ooh you forgot. (sarcastic)
me: Are you from around here?
HB8: yeah.
me: I'm trying to get to Armitage?
HB8: I'm not sure

-she takes me over to the 'roadmap' section of the store and we start looking through maps of Chicago together. I get kino and more giggling. I ask her how her day is going, does she like working there, etc. Then more customers come in, and she has to attend to them. Not really into this one anyways and I go to that 7-11 a lot, so I smile again to her and she gives me DDB eyes again and says 'byeee' as I leave.

This went really well, too bad I wasn't really feeling her.

.......The next two did not go so well.......

Date: June 26, 2006

Location: Wrigleyville, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

I'm walking down the street and an HB8 brunette in a tan skirt crosses my path, on the way to a cleaners, it looks like.

me: Excuse me! (she turns) I'm lost, are you from around here?
HB8: yeah
me: I'm trying to get to this place called Argo Tea. Have you heard of it?
HB8: No - where is it?
me: I think it's on Armitage.
HB8: That's far.
me: How far?
HB8: Far. You should take the bus there. (my car was parked half a block away)
me: Where's the bus?

-she points me to the nearest bus stop, gives me the schedule of the #36 bus, I thank her, then she turns to go into the cleaners. At this point I remember 'push every approach til close'. So I push it.

(running to catch up with her)
me: Excuse me.
HB8: Yeah?
(I notice she has a - *hot*- accent of some type)
me: Are you French?
HB8: (smiling) no.
(she turns again to go in)
me: Hi.
HB8: (turning around) yeh?
me: That's a really cool bag.
HB8: oh thanks. (weird smile, I think I'm making her uncomfortable now)

I let her go. That's as far as I could take this one, given how I opened.

Work on:
no C+F, plus I was nervous as hell. Good job trying to push it to close though.

Date: June 26, 2006

Location: Chipotle, Wrigleyville, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

At chipotle I spot teh hotness. An HB9 latina in a short skirt, and her HB8 - looks like sister - dressed identically. I get my food. I'm filling up my glass with diet coke when the 9 comes up next to me to get some napkins - I say 'hi' to her. She smiles at me and says hi.

This is my first solo two set. On my way to my table, I pass by them and try to run game, it does not go very well.

me: Are you guys from around here? I'm trying to find Argo Tea.
HB8: No I'm sorry, we're just visiting from out of town.
me: Oh.
(I spill my drink on the floor. FOCK. I ignore it and keep spitting game - they are from out of town but I am so nervous I keep pushing the 'I'm lost can you tell me how to get to...?' opener.)
me: Oh really - where are you guys from?

-they are from Puerto Rico. I talk mainly to the 9, but the 8 is the one who answers. Later on I think probably the 8 doesn't speak English very well because she only says 'yes' and 'no'. I ask them if they've heard of Armitage , no? Where are they staying, they say up the street on Clark. I ask them if they like Chicago, where have they gone, how long they're staying? I ask them why they're in town - are they actresses? (cheeze) Eventually I detach, and say 'well, thanks.'

As I eat my food I realize - push every approach til close. I finish my food, then approach their table again on the way out.

me: Hi again.
HB's: hey.
me: I am going across the street to get some coffee, do you guys want to go?
HB8: (mean) no thanks.
me: ok, have a good day.

I run out of there. This one stung.

Work on:
Nervous as f*ck. I spilled my drink during the approach, it was all down hill from there.

Date: June 25, 2006

Location: Gym, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

There's this HB8 latina who works at the front desk at the gym that I go to. Totally hot. Usually I walk in, nod my head or maybe say 'hi'. Today, I walk in, walk up to the front desk, rest my arms on the desk, look her in the eye and say 'So how's it going?'. She looks at me, says 'hello', a little business like. Then some other people come in, she turns to them and says hello to them and starts going about her business. Blown out. F*ck it, this was an approach at least.

Work on:
Nervous body language and voice projection, no doubt. Or maybe this girl is just a biatch. Hell maybe she is an insecure person, and I made her uncomfortable by being so direct.

Date: June 25, 2006

Location: Gym, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

I walk into the aerobics room, where there a bunch of girls riding exercise bikes or stretching on these mats. I pull up a mat and start doing sit ups. There is an empty mat on the floor next to me. A smoking HB9 brunette who looks just like my ex, except with a totally insane body, sits down on the mat next to me and starts doing these yoga contortions. 3 second rule kicks in and I am off.

me: Is that yoga?
HB9: huh?
me: Are those yoga poses that you're doing?
HB9: Oh yeah.
me: Looks hardcore.
HB9: hehe nah.

... proceeds into a long set - at least for me - must have lasted more than 5 minutes. She sits down next to me and we start talking about a variety of subjects: the benefits of yoga, where she learned how to do yoga, her 'routine', what she thinks of the yoga classes offered at the gym (they are crap, according to her), the different styles of yoga, how she is training for a triathalon (she volunteered this information), the 'spinning' classes that they have at the gym, her training regimen, where she rides, the differences between mountain bikes and road bikes, how chicago sucks for mountain biking, etc. etc.

I left this set energized. Felt good about opening up a gym 9 hottie. My EC and body language is getting better. My voice projection was pretty good here. Was relaxed enough to be conscious of these things. I also knew that my facial expressions need work. I could tell that I probably had a very serious look on my face, but it probably just made me look like a sincere and serious guy who was really into personal fitness. I made her smile and laugh a little. Not a bad set, at least for me. I ended it though, I didn't want to stick around and have her see how (comparatively) out of shape I was compared to her, puffing and sweating bullets on the exercise bikes - while she is a triathalete. I was going to ask her name but I remembered that that is a nice guy thing to ask. A DJ waits til the girl asks for your name. Nice interaction, I actually built some rapport.

Work on:
No C+F, negs, general technique. I didn't try to number close or anything. Still feel good about it as a learning experience.

I'm giving myself a deadline of six months to get 250 approaches under my belt. I started this journal 6/18, so by 12/18/2006 I should have 250 approaches done. That's 1-2 approaches a day. Any wussbag can do that. No excuses.

Also, I want you guys to start calling me out to SBAP (that's 'stop being a p*ssy'), and walking away after a perfectly decent set without trying to close anything. I am too f*cking shy. There has to be a time when I just say, ok from now on I'm going to stop being shy. Or else it will never happen. So I'm going to post these next 2 approaches and that's it. SBAP. I'm done 'practicing'.

Nobody will understand, unless they are in your shoes. Women will hurt you, it's unavoidable. Your friends will bring you down, because they want you at their level, hell some of them want you to fail because it makes them feel better about themselves. Nobody cares if you are happy, everyone is too wrapped up in their own lives - you are lucky if you have one person in this world who cares if you are successful. You have to support yourself.

It's really easy to get discouraged. You can waste years of your life wallowing in apathy and self pity. I don't know what else to do but keep trying. Something will stick, I will turn the corner and realize that I've made progress. This thing that I am trying to do - which is, to build a vibrant social life, develop confidence and self esteem, be a better man, eventually find somebody to love. It seems like a really huge task right now. I feel like I started too late, that all the time I spent with my nose in the books has gotten me nowhere. I feel like I'm starting from nothing. I feel like I'm trying to build a fortune by digging for spare change underneath the sofa. But giving up is not an option for me. In the end this will be the the best thing that I ever did.

Date: June 25, 2006

Location: My condo, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

I throw my stuff in the dryer and leave the laundry room. I go to the elevators and there's an HB8 brunette, with a big laundry cart, messing around with the elevator buttons. She looks up at me sheepishly. In our building we have to hold a magnetic card to open the elevator doors on the 3rd floor, where the laundry room is at. When you hold the magnetic card over a sensor the right way, the light turns from red to green and you can hit the elevator buttons, it doesn't work if you don't have a magnetic card.

The light is flashing red, then green, then red again, and back. She keeps holding her card over the strip, then looks up at me and grins sheepishly. I watch her try to do this for a couple minutes.

HB8: hi
me: hi
HB8: Can you try it? I think it's broken.
me: ok (the light is still flashing, I jiggle my card around and it eventually works)
me: yeah, what's up with that.
HB8: I think it might be broken or something.
me: It might be your card! What's wrong with your card? Maybe you should have your card looked at.
HB8: haha
(we get on the elevator)
me: (noticing her huge laundry cart) That's a cool cart, seems very useful.
HB8: yeah. I use it all the time.
me: I need one of those. I just have this huge laundry bag that I use.
HB8: yeah, if you're doing laundry every 3 weeks it's worth the investment.
me: Where do you get one of those?
HB8: Target.
me: I'm going to get one. Do you use it for the grocery store too?
HB8: no.
me: Man these elevators are so slow.
HB8: yeah, we pay a lot for these too.

We arrive at my floor. I tell her 'have a good one', she says 'you too', then I bail. This seems more innocent than it was, I was giving and returning a lot of EC, and she was smiling at me a lot. I could have easily - I should have - said, 'so what floor you live on?', 'how you like living here?', 'I'm nonchalant, what's your name?' - any number of things to keep the banter going, but the elevator arrived before I could think of it.

Key points:
Good EC, body language. Good positive mindframe during this encounter. Only mild flirting, ramp it up.

Work on:
remembering - it's always on. If there is an HB, then you have to launch into C+F immediately.
I'm coming up with a cheat sheet with notes, favorite openers, routines, and negs to always be practicing. Maybe revise it once in a while - otherwise I will always just trying to pull conversation out of my ass.
I have to remember the formula=
select a target
approach/open
DHV
Disarm obstacles
Isolate the target
Create an emotion
Isolate
Kino
Close

Date: June 24, 2006

Location: Coffee Shop, Lakeview area, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

I get my coffee and walk up to the counter where there is milk and sugar and utensils. The milk/sugar/utensils have been moved to a folding table at the side, there is an HB6 blonde art chick redoing the table where the milk/sugar/utensils usually are - she is gluing an artistic pattern in ceramic tiles to the top of the table. I open.

me: That's pretty cool.
HB6: (concentrating, not even looking at me, mumbles) thanks yeh
me: That's going to look pretty nice when it's done, I like the pattern.
HB6: (concentrating, not even looking at me, mumbles) thanks yeh
me: I've been thinking of putting tile like that on my kitchen counter.
HB6: (mumbles something, looks at my briefly)
me: Do you have to strip the table top or something?
HB6: (mumbles something, looks at me briefly)
me: Where do you get those tiles? What type of glue is that (looks at the glue) ohhh ceramic tile adhesive.
HB6: (mumbles something, looks at me briefly)
me: well it looks cool.

She's obviously engrossed in her work and/or not feeling me. Whatever. I got a good look at her face and I didn't really care by that point. I move on.

Told my friend about the 'boot camp' and alluded to the 'community' during our conversation last night. It's funny how people seem to look upon that type of business as 'shady', as if you are a bad person because you are consciously trying to work on this. This is a huge misconception - we're not out to deceive or take advantage of women, we're only trying to make ourselves better men. I also find it hypocritical since practically *every women's magazine* out there is filled with tips on dating and strategies on how to deal with guys.

-------

My current sticking points, or at least the ones I'm most aware of, are:

1. My day game is coming along ok, but my bar game is a huge sticking point. I revert to wallflower status a lot of the times when I'm at a crowded bar. Something about the loud atmosphere, large mixed sets, c*ck blocking dudes all around, and (much) higher b*tch shields on the hb's, is very intimidating to me. My bar approaches have been short and the convo has been too 'safe', or they have approached me. I've only gotten one number out of 18 approaches so far since I started.

2. My frame during the approach needs work. I'm having a hard time going from the 'friendly guy making pleasant random conversation about the weather, for instance, with people he meets', to 'C+F guy who is the prize who is chatting up some hb that he may decide is worthy of him'. I lack that 'killer instinct', most of my approaches have lacked sexual tension because of this.

I'm just wondering how long it's going to take to get to the stage where I can open up multiple mixed sets in a crowded bar without hesitation, even with the EC I felt like I was getting last night, I feel like I have a lot of work to do before I'm there. On the plus side, I'm worlds away from May 1st when I first started boot camp - I couldn't even look people in the eye then. Now I'm getting numbers from girls in bars with a little bit of effort. It's also been been a lot of fun so far.

My wing had to repeat swingcat's affirmations to himself every night: women like sex and they want it from me, etc. in order to feel attractive to women. I don't need to do that since I already feel like I'm more attractive than the average guy, I can just tell from the way women react to me and from EC I get, that's really encouraging. I tend to lose that feeling of sexual confidence quickly however when I'm in the middle of an approach and struggling for things to say. This is all inner game related.

One theory I had, I'm not sure how many here would agree with me but - I feel like if you *only* work on one thing it should be inner game. Don't worry about routines or openers, cold reading, theory, etc. just *make yourself into a man who is on his path in life and has high self esteem* and you don't need any of that stuff. They will come to you. I have made a promise to myself to stop wasting time from now on, to stop being lazy, and to always be doing something that will help move me forward towards my goals. That way, even when I'm not out in the field I'm still improving my overall game.

That wing last night - he's a nice guy and all and I know he means well, I just don't know if I should be sarging with him at least in the near future. I'm not up to his level of agressiveness right now, it makes me feel insecure that I can't keep up, and screws up my game, which is then compounded by the fact that this guy lacks common sense and tends to hijack my approaches.

I know that while he has the gift of being very ballsy and willing to put himself out there, I am blessed with my own gifts, which are much more subtle but I think in the end are much more valuable - looks (he did not have anyone approach him last night, I did), genuineness of delivery, intelligence, a better job/own my own home/education/economic standpoint than most people would necessarily assume from just looking at me: since I look a lot younger than I am, people are always surprised when they find out that I have achieved everything I have in life.

I am constantly being underestimated because of my looks, it's always cool when I surprise the hell out of people when they really get to know me.

I want to go out today to make up for my lousy performance last night. I know I will be constantly obsessing over this bar game thing until I master it.

I bomb at this one bar, my confidence goes down the toilet
We get to our destination bar. The place is jam packed, tons of dudes - about 60/40. Some smoking hot babes, though - I absolutely love Wicker Park girls. My wing automatically starts into a set - he gets in 4 sets within an hour, some of them large mixed groups. He gets shot down hard by that mixed set that called him 'creepy' when he tried to run the 'core values' test on them, but he disses them and goes on to open even more sets. One girl is being really friendly to him, clinking glasses and such, but he detaches for some reason. Another girl is giving him lots of convo - but she turns out to have a boyfriend - we wind up sitting with the boyfriend and his friend, making convo with them.

I'm frozen, I can't approach. I try to dance with this HB7 black chick, but I must have appeared too sullen or nervous, she wasn't having it. There was one redhead HB that was giving me major EC, but I lose my nerve and don't approach, and another brunette HB at the bar that was giving me major EC, but again I freeze. I did not obey the 3 second rule. I forgot: if you are not having a good time then you are putting way too much thought into the outcome of an approach and not in the MOMENT. I have been thinking about why I froze:

-the first time out on the bar scene really. The last time I went to the bars I did not go there for the purpose of approaching, just to observe as I did in my AFC days. Tonight I went there to approach, but when it came time to approach, I got intimidated by all the dudes and the crowd and the volume level. I'm hoping this bar intimidation factor will eventually go away with more experience.

-some drunk ******* trying to **** with me and my friend.

-I think I felt insecure/intimidated that my wing could open up so many sets - and *real* sets where he is actually face to face for 10 mins+, not my usual 'hi how you doing, great place, whatcha drinking, what's your name, can I have your number?' bullsh*t. He was actually doing a good job of building rapport, and applying theory. It was like I was transported back to my days in school as a socially awkward adolescent. I was not in the moment, I overthought everything, put too much pressure on myself and let that drag my mood down, did not try to elevate my energy level, after a while I just didn't even try. I felt insecure around someone who was obviously more of a PUA than I was. I also felt like I was letting him down by being a sh*tty wing. My mind was a mess, and I couldn't recover. After a couple of hours of this, my confidence is in the toilet, my wing has not closed anything, and we decide to leave.

Date: June 17, 2006

Location: Second bar, Wicker Park, Chicago, IL

Players: me + wing

We move to bar number 2, it is much later - the place closes in an hour or so. The place is less crowded, which is good. We're situated on a bunch of sofas, our feet propped up on ottomans. A mixed set of 2 HB8's - brunette with big butt and blonde with tattoo - and 3 dudes sits down at the couches close to us.

This set is problematic to me. I woke up today still thinking about it. I feel like this had potential to be a good set but it wound up being a disaster. I feel like my wing, in his semi drunken state, ruined a potentially good set for me and violated some basic rules of wingmanship:

-your wing is the coolest most interesting guy in the room

-social proof your wing

-do not break in when he is in rapport phase

-he had been 'coaching' me, giving me tips all night - but he *kept* coaching me, and very loudly, *while I was in the middle of the set* which made me even more nervous and ruined the set for me in the end.

This was a long set, and frankly, I don't want to go into detailing the entire conversation. The summary is:

The blonde HB8 sits down, she looks over at me and I can tell that I am getting some good EC from her. She says something about the ottoman where I am resting my feet. She opened me up.

I make convo, I ask her her name, where she's from, if she had a good time that night, what bars she went to, when the bars close, if she knows one that's open late, I ask her how her group knows each other (friends from HS with the guys, friends from college with the girl and the other guy), where she's from yadda yadda. My friend says (very loudly) 'she can't hear you, go sit next to her', which I do, but that was bad to be coached like that very loudly.

I move in closer to her and break into my 'cold girlfriend' routine:

'Hey I need your opinion - my buddy just texted me (shows her text message 'she's still not answering') - he told his gf last night that he loved her, now she's won't speak to him. He's called her 20 times already but she won't answer her phone - what is going on? etc.'

This gets a very good response, lots of convo at this point about relationships. This opener is golden, I'm going to keep using it. There's a lull in the convo, my wing leans in and says - again very loudly - to give her the 'cube'. People hear this, it makes me look bad to be so obviously 'coached'. He *cuts into my set* and starts giving her the cube!

I go to the bathroom. When I get back he is sitting where I was, giving her the 'cube'! I'm looking like a shmuck at this point, and sitting there totally cut off, twiddling my thumbs. I don't know why he did this, he must have been semi drunk, only thinking about approaching as many people as much as possible. All I know is - if my wing was in the middle of rapport, then ejects - I wouldn't sit in his place and bust into the 'cube'. He just c*ck blocked me, I don't think he even realized it.

Well, the girl is bored with the cube and cuts him off. She starts talking to the other people in her group. My friend is left sitting there. Then this peacocking guy in a red shirt who obviously knows her from before approaches the group and she is all over him - must have had something going with this guy from before. At this point, me and my wing are both cut off from her. We get up and leave.

Again, I'm still conflicted by this set - but I didn't say anything to him about it. He already admitted he doesn't know the 'basic rules of wingmanship' as I asked him earlier if he's read about it. He also wasn't using common sense.

A learning experience night. I'm not angry with him for cutting in because, frankly, I had run out of stuff to say - mental note to build up some material for the next time I have to 'stack routines'.

Positives:
This chick opened me up, she liked me, I could just tell. I got some kino and some really good EC from her. I don't know why my wing thought he should move in, other than I was struggling with the conversation, but at that point he should have social proofed me and not cut into my set.

Negatives:
Chalk this one up to experience. I don't think either of us was going to hook with this chick after the peacock guy appeared out of nowhere.

Mixed feelings about going out with this wing. It was an opportunity to watch someone better than me in action I guess - which was a semi intimidating experience. But that's how you learn - by breaking out of your comfort zone. And now I'm more determined now than ever to master the bar game.

I had an off night, some approaches - not nearly as many as I should have. No luck at all. By the end of the night I was down on myself and feeling miserable. Absolutely not in the right state to approach, I just couldn't really get it together.

What I wrote to Thomas 94305 re: the bar game

Quote:

Last night I realized the same thing - how the bar game is a whole other animal than the day game. You have to be much more 'on', a lot more upbeat and agressive. *your energy has to be higher than their energy* - or else they won't talk to you because you will just bring them *down*. There are a ton of people there, it's loud, everyone's been drinking. There are a lot of other dudes there also, and you will have to be social with them too. It is just a lot more intimidating then when I stop a girl on the street at 4 in the afternoon with noone else around and ask her for directions.

The payoff, though, is that there are a lot more HB's out too - and they are dressed to kill, and are generally in the mindframe to f*ck. It is a gold mine if you are ready to face it. I went into it thinking that I would do a canned 'routine' - namely, the 'cold girlfriend' routine from Mystery's site. It went really well actually. A lot of those canned routines from the pua materials seem like they'd come off really artificial, you just have to deliver them the right way, which takes practice. You have to be comfortable in a bar setting and with interacting with strange people. I had a hard time with this last night

...Another thing I realized last night - after the approach, even if it goes well, then what? you need a follow up, you need several follow ups actually. It's better if these things come in the course of natural conversation - but some canned follow ups help. I lost out on one approach that was going well last night because I had no follow up and the situation got uncomfortable. I guess this is called 'stacking'.

So I used to think that those canned routines were not for me - that I don't do 'cold reading' or 'opinion openers' - that they were too contrived and gimmicky, like card reading - but they serve a purpose. Unless you instantly click with a girl and have a ton of sh*t to say with her for some reason you better have the first fifteen minutes of conversation ready to go in your head, you don't have to have them memorized - but you should have various bits of conversation ready to go, preferably well rehearsed so they seem natural sounding.

Several factors contributed to my sh*tty inner game last night:

-this thing with my car that happened yesterday, I kept thinking about all the money it was going to cost to fix, it was seriously bringing me down.

-Father's day tomorrow. I kept thinking about getting together with my family, I don't know why this brought me down so much but it did. Family issues that I won't go into here are a large part of why I'm in therapy now. Therapy's helped fix some of my family problems, but I still have a lot or work to do in this regard, my inner game won't be completely together until I deal with this area of my life.

Wingman background:
I went out tonight with my wingman - a semi-PUA I met at this 'PUA group' I met off the internet last week. A nice guy, he knows his material inside and out, he's done a lot of approaches and the dude has balls of steel. Not very smooth, lacks 'finesse', but this guy can walk up and talk to anybody. I saw him get dissed to his face (he kept trying to run the 'core values' test on a 4 set and they just refused to play along, called him 'creepy'. he just turned to them and said 'well I've talked to other people tonight and they were a lot more fun. have a good night'. Balls, baby.) I saw this guy walk into the bar and bust out 4 approaches in less than an hour on large mixed sets. Balls. He's a nice guy - he kept 'feeding' me material and trying to 'coach me' on stuff to say, especially later when I just lost it entirely and my energy level was down the sh*tter. A nice guy, really helpful, I learned a lot from him just talking to him and observing how he interacted with people. But I have to admit the constant coaching and feeding me routines and openers' got maybe a little annoying. I just didn't feel like I was ready to run the 'cube' on mixed multiple sets yet, as I still feel like I'm working on building up my balls to approach. There were also a couple of times tonight when I felt he was not that great of a wing, althought he's a great PUA - and messed up my game. I didn't mention any of this to him, as I felt it was the opportunity to watch someone who was actually good in action was worth more than getting a chick's number.

A learning experience I guess... I have to really work on my bar approaches. I haven't had any luck in bars yet, there are so many HB's in those places it just blew my mind - I feel like I owe it to myself to keep working on this area of my game. So far street approaches are coming along nicely for me, though - it's just something about all the other dudes and the loud atmosphere that kind of throws me off. I think with practice I'll probably relax a little more.

Date: June 17, 2005

Location: Coffee Shop, Chicago, IL

Players: me + wing

Me and wing are sitting in the coffee shop looking at seduction literature on my laptop when 2 HB's walk in. HB7 brunette in black dress and HB8 short blonde hair and cat eye glasses. They sit down next to us and start surfing the internet on the public computer at the coffee shop. They appear to be googling for bars and clubs.

I notice EC from the HB brunette, she sits down across from us on the couches at the front of the coffee shop. I bust out 'Hi'. I go to the bathroom, when I come back he is engaging the 2 set, we find out that they are from Seattle, that they are actresses, I ask them about why they're in town (acting class at the Art Institute), how they like Chicago, which bars they went to so far, what they're doing that evening. I ask where they're staying. The HB8 lets it slip that they are staying with her boyfriend. Great. Then a mixed group comes in and meets the 2 - looks like the boyfriend and a group of his friends. We say nice to meet you and exit. We should have stayed in the set, I could tell from EC and body language the HB7 thought I was cute.

Positives:
EC from the HB7, engaging convo with her. I'm getting better at noticing EC and IOI's from girls. I actually got quite a lot of that last night, we realistically could have persisted with this set because there was still one single girl, but we left, probably because we were already planning to bail for the bars.
I am getting good at saying 'hi' to cute girls without hesitation.

Work on:
No DHV, no C+F, no negs, we did not persist.

Date: June 17, 2006

Location: Wicker Park, Chicago, IL - strip of bars around Milwaukee and North, place is jam packed with bars and clubs

Players: me + wing

Another retarded street approach, this got a chuckle and a smile at least last week so I thought I'd try it tonight just to get my energy level up. It bombed.

We are walking on the sidewalk, 2 HB8 blondes are walking in the opposite direction. I try to make EC, they weren't returning the favor.

me: You guys know where the bars are at? (we are surrounded by bars)
HB8's: There are bars everywhere on the street. (impatiently, they keep walking...)

Positives: no positives.

Negatives: stop being retarded. This line does not work when you are moving in opposite directions, worked better when you are in a goofy mood and stationary, as they walk by.

Nice job of relating inner game to cognitive distortions.

me: When you date a woman, or make a new friend, you are opening up your world. I know I'd probably want to date/be friends with someone who knew a lot of exciting people, had a cool social life, good relations with his family. I feel like I have nothing to offer.
J: But that's another distortion. You said you have 'nothing to offer'.
me: It feels like it.
J: But that's not the case, it's not like you're living on the street in a cardboard box, you have a lot to offer.
me: I know it feels like it when I have nothing to do on a weekend night.
J: That's another distortion.
me: Which one?
J: Emotional reasoning. "I feel like I have nothing to offer/my life is empty/ my social circle is nonexistent, therefore this must be the case."

Mental note to inventory all the positive things in my life, and keep updating this list.

http://www.fastseduction.com/masf/34/329886/

I'm bookmarking this thread for future reference:

Hey dude, I sent you an email a few days ago. Here are the best places to go in the city, day by day:

Monday:

Rockit - its industry night, if you dont know someone you might need to talk yourself in.

Green Dolphin Street - industry/gay night... dont let it fool you though, there are TONS of hotties, it doesnt feel like a "gay night" at all... except for the occasional transvestites and cross dresser.

Tuesday:

Joes - 2 dollar pitchers of coors. A lot of guys, but there are always enough hot girls as well.

Narcisse - Hard to get in, one of the HOTTEST nights/venues in the city on tuesday. A list crowd, be prepared for models, cocaine and rich dudes.

Wednesday (my favorite):

Kinkades:

Awesome lincoln park bar. They have dollar beers on wed. but they get a TON of very high caliber women here too. Lots of college girls.

Reserve:

This used to be the hottest place to go, but its dying down. Upscale, cool crowd, expensive. A lot of industry people.

Y-Bar:

Hot industry crowd. 20 dollar cover (unless Anna likes you). Very hot women, very rich guys. Large VIP/bottle service area (although thats easy enough to flirt your way into).

Moda:

This is afterhours, also 20 dollar cover. A crowd venue, very loud but lots of 9s and 10s just like ybar and reserve. Doesnt get going till after 1.

Rino:

After hours, very exclusive lots of 9s and 10s. Ive seen them make celebs and athletes wait in line so be prepared. 20 bucks.

Thursday:

McGees:

Lincoln park bar, dollar drinks, similar to Kinkades but more obnoxious. Lots of dudes, hot girls.

Enclave:

Awesome night, very hot crowd, big venue, beautiful girls. On of my favorites in the city.

Rino:

See above

Friday - sat: You figure it out, everything is good. LP is awesome on friday, le passage is good on sat... doesnt really matter.

Sunday:

Stanleys:

Amazing Kareoke, great live band. Slightly older crowd, hot women, pro atheltes and celebs frequent this bar on sundays.

Spoon:

Best place on sunday, tons of HBs 9+. Have your game calibrated.

Leg room:

Ok, its crowded, mediocre women compared to spoon, 10 dollar cover... open late though.

Im sure i missed a bunch of great hotspots, I know Level is goos on tuesdays and thursdays as well... but those are my favorites. Check em out, im sure ill see you out there. Cheers.

Well, I seem to have slipped a little in my progress. I have been saying hi, making EC's, and have been making friendly convo with strangers, but I have not made an approach in a week. I don't want to lose this little bit of momentum I have going, so I've been making myself go out despite the fact that I have froze the last two times I've gone out.

I have made some convos with HB's over the past few days but they have been superficial and I don't think I can count them as approaches. I keep thinking back to my last club sarge, which went badly. I have been obsessing about my bar game and I have completely forgotten my day game, which was actually coming along fine. Hence, I've lost some momentum. Today I did not approach when I went out to the gym although there were a couple of opportunities.

There are a couple of things that have been messing with my game:

The people that I have been using as wings have been letting me down. I was supposed to go out with one and he cancelled out. The other one would rather sit at home and be lame than sarge with me.

I have been stressed about work, and I have been doing a lot of personal projects around the house that I told myself I'd get to - these things are taking a lot more of my time than I have planned, but they are also important to me.

My ex contacted me, it always throws me off when she calls and I have to remind myself that I don't care about her anymore. On Thursday I took all the little gifts and letters she has written me over the years and put them into a box, and put them away - which in itself is a good thing, but in the process I read some of the letters and it brought me down a lot more than I thought it would. These artifacts of our relationship have been put away now, and this will not happen again, though.

On Thursday night, I rewarded myself for doing well on a project at work I had been spending a lot of time on, and solo sarged at the bars. It was actually a good night to solo sarge at the bars as there were a fair amount of people out, but the bars were not so crowded that it was intimidating. I sat down at a bar in Wicker Park, there was a girl sitting about two seats away who I might have approached. She was just sitting down to read a book or something. Then, I'm not sure if this actually happened or not - but I *think* she actually scooted down one seat so that she was farther away from me. I may have imagined that this happened, but it nevertheless threw me. Then a guy sat down between us. I sat there for an hour, watched tv, made idle chit chat with the guy next to me and left. Then I went home.

Last night my wing I was going to go out with decided he'd rather sit home and play video games online. This kind of brought me down, and I started getting down on myself that I don't have a wide enough social circle yet that I'd have someone else to go out with that night. I sat at home - but then something snapped in me and I got dressed. I forced myself to go out because I wasn't getting anything productive done at home, and going out alone beats the hell out of sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself.

I wound up arriving at this bar at midnight. There were approachable women there, but I froze, so I had a drink and tried to calm myself down before doing anything. I struck up a conversation with this guy sitting next to me, just to be social. He actually turned out to be a cool guy, he was there alone too, a guy out having a drink on his own on a Friday night. He seemed to be more comfortable at the bar since he was friends with the dj and the bartender. Anyways, we talked about a lot of stuff - he was an artist, gave me his card and told me he'd send me an invite to this party he was having in a couple of weeks to celebrate his art show. So, that was at least one positive thing that came out of the experience. This guy took off but I stayed an hour more and had another drink. I was going to approach, but chickened out at the last minute and went home. Overall, a failure, although it was a generally pleasant night out. That bar is actually turning out to be a favorite of mine, there's always nice people there to talk to.

This is where I currently stand. No action for the past few days. I have done some good things related to getting my life together and inner game - I've taken care of a lot of personal projects I'd been meaning to get to, and have been working hard on the job. In terms of my sarging, though, I have to get myself together, I don't want to slip back to where I was mentally at the start of boot camp.

It is more than a year but less than two years into the future, my ideal self is thinking about what he has planned for the evening. He is happy and content, he hums along to a song that is playing on his iPod, which is hooked up to an iPod speaker system in the living room. A flat screen hdtv is hanging on the wall across from the large sofa in his living room, ESPN is on, a college basketball game is going on which he has 50 bucks on, but the sound is turned down. The puppy he bought in the spring is playing with a rubber tennis ball at his feet and making growling noises. There are some messages on his answering machine, which he hasn't bothered to check. One wall in his house is a dark red, the rest are an off white or greyish color. The floor is a rich wood panelling, on which there are several modern looking throw rugs. The lighting is futuristic looking. He also has a new Marshall amp.

Life is exciting and comfortable at the same time. He works at UC, but he is starting to interview for some interesting and high paying positions with prestigious companies. He works hard - 9-10 hours a day. He is brilliant and has distinguished himself as one of the most talented people on the team. People trust him and like him. He has many friends and admirers at work. He is constantly reading something to expand his technical knowledge, just as he is constantly exercising to keep his body in top form. He typically arrives at work between 8 and 9 am, and leaves between 6 and 7. He works the entire time, unless he goes out to lunch with friends. He reads a technical book at least an hour a day. In the evening, he works out at the gym, practices guitar for several hours, works on his software projects, or goes out to the bars with friends. He walks his dog in the morning and at night, his dog is constantly at his side. His dog is a large masculine dog, he constantly gets compliments from attractive women about how cute his dog is. He does not waste a minute of his day. He is always listening to audio books and reading books to expand his mind before he goes to bed. He has become a wide ranging and fascinating conversationalist. He has developed an extremely attractive sense of confidence and goofy sense of humor.

I just realized that I may be single for a long time - maybe for years. That doesn't mean that I wont' date. I will not settle down with a woman unless she is someone that I feel is perfectfor me, I will not settle. Having fun with multiple women that I date is preferable than being trapped in a relationship that will not work out in the long run, but being too scared to leave becauseof the emotions and time I've invested in the relationship.

If you're not enjoying it, your over thinking it. Be natural and be in the PRESENT!

day one week one

if i don't make it six months at least w/0 jacking off i have failed.

Your weakness, whatever it may be, is all in your mind. So is your strength.

Date: June 16, 2006

Location: Coffee Shop, Lakeview, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

I didn't go out last night to sarge like I had planned. Something happened with my car that will be very expensive to fix that just put me in a sh*tty ass mood. I just was not in the mood to sarge. I'm supposed to go out tonight with one of my friends, I'm going to make up for it.

I did manage to get in one approach before the car incident, I was at a coffee shop near my house after work. The barista is an HB8.5 blonde hipster chick. She has a white iBook laptop on the counter that she is surfing the internet on, the place is empty.

me: I'll have a large coffee.
HB8: (gets up) You want that for here or in a to go glass?
me: Here but in a to go glass.
(noticing her hotness, look down at the iBook and decide to use it)
me: (smiling, pointing to the iBook) Macbook?
HB8: (turns around) >?
me: Macbook?
HB8: oh yeah. (smiles)
me: How do you like those? Macs are awesome.
HB8: They're great, I love them.
me: How do you like the built in iSight on those? That's such a great feature.
HB8: The iSight?
me: you know, the built in video camera?
HB8: ooh, this doesn't come with one of those.
(she obviously doesn't know sh*t about computers, in fact this probably wasn't even a mac book)
me: Yeh I think they do, or at least the titanium ones do.
HB8: Cool.
me: I made a mistake a bought mine 3 months before the Core Duos came out.
HB8: haha.
me: well work bought it, I would have waited if I could.
(hands me my coffee, I pay, Stones song is on the stereo)
me: I like this song. Exile on Main St. is great.
HB8: (confused look, she obviously did not pick the song or know much about music)
me: So what's your name?
HB8: HB8 blonde hipster.
me: hi.
HB8: here you go.
me: well, thanks.
HB8: bye.

I detach and hang out at the back of the cafe. My plan was to come up and order another coffee later, but her co worker came back and they started bantering, then more customers came, there always seemed to be too many customers at the counter, so I left after a while.

This is my regular hang out place, I wasn't going to try to # close her or insta date her while she was at work.
I'll be a little more hard core at the club tonight.

Date: June 15, 2006

Location: Corner of Belmont and Halsted, Wrigleyville, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

Babes on bikes! Mental note that Wrigleyville in the early evenings in the summer is a goldmine.

I'm proud of this one because I could have easily just let it go, it just seems totally random to hit on someone on the street like this. And I decided to stretch it out a little and try to build rapport.

I'm on the corner of Belmont and Halsted in Chicago, just got out of my car and I'm walking to dinner at this Italian place. I'm waiting for the light to change and I look over - there's this HB8 brunette with an awesome, um, figure, on the street next to me on a bike. I make my move.

me: Excuse me - do you know where Belmont is?
HB8: We're on Belmont.
me: (I look up at the street sign) Well I'll be.
HB8: Where are you trying to get to?
me: The Vic Theater - have you heard of it?
HB8: Yeah the Vic is about 5-6 blocks up on the left.
me: Do you know where Clark is?
HB8: That's the next light up.
me: Hey that's a cool bike, looks vintage.
HB8: (laughs) It's just old!
me: Where did you get it?
HB8: I had it for a while.
(the light changes, cars honk)
HB8: Bye.
(she pedals out of my life)

Work on:
I need an *opener* - ideally 2-3 really good openers, one that works really well for approaching girls on the street especially. Probably one that works for the gym, one for the bar, maybe a couple for the bar or a party situation. I have to do some research on good openers, but of course I'm lazy and I think that I can just wing everything. Well, I've proven that I make an ass out of myself when I try to wing it - so I need to get on this, and practice these openers.

Another brick in my proverbial palace.

Date: June 15, 2006

Location: Elevator, my apartment building, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

I wake up on time for work for a change. I get in the elevator and there's an HB8 asian sporting the secretarial look, giving me major EC and a smile. There's another dude in the elevator. She says 'hi' - very enthusiastically - first. It is 8 in the morning, I'm not awake, but my instincts kick in and I try to game her in the short trip downstairs.

HB8asian: Hi. (EC, vibing)
me: Hiii. How are you?
HB8A: Ok you?
me: Ok.
(thinking of something to say...)

Background:
This is what messes me up.
There is *another* HB8 asian in my building that I flirt with sometimes, these two look very similar to me. This other HB8 asian has a cool bulldog that she is always walking.
I am thinking I am in the elevator with the other HB8 asian, but this is someone else entirely that I have never met before, which makes the IOI's and EC even more encouraging.

me: Are you that person with the dog?
HB8: Huh, no.
(I realize I just screwed up, now she thinks I am either a. confused, b. into this other girl, or c. hitting on every HB8 asian in the building, which of course I am)
me: oh um. Yeah there's this other girl with a dog. (stupid thing to say)
(uncomfortable silence)

(thinking of something to say, look down to see that she is carrying multiple shopping bags)
me: so, um, you've got a lot of bags?
(I know, really dull thing to say. I couldn't think of anything else and her floor on the garage was coming up soon)
HB8: Yeah (smiling at me, EC still, I probably recovered as best I could from the dog comment)
(we arrive at her floor)
HB8: well, bye.
me: bye.

I ride down with the other guy in the elevator, who is catching glimpses of me out the corner of his eye and chuckling to himself. Whatever - that chick likes me and I will see her again if I can remember to get up at the same time every day for work.

work on:
next time, ask for her name and what floor she lives on. I will work this if I get her in the elevator again.

Date: June 14, 2006

Location: Gold Coast bar, Chicago, IL

Players: Me + 3 'wings'

I'm at the first meeting of a potential 'PUA group', with 3 guys I met through the internet. One of them went to a Mystery Method seminar in Toronto. We're sitting around talking about technique and I'm telling them about my lack of technique. Attempted waitress pickup, another one of my totally retarded, no technique approaches. I have no skill, right now I'm just trying to build up my balls so I'm going to count this I guess.

me: ... my approaches totally lack finesse, a lot of the times it's just like 'hey how's it going? Can I have your number?'
Wing1: Yeah that's bad.
Wing2: You don't distinguish yourself with that type of opener, everybody says 'how are you doing?'
Wing3: Everybody says 'how are you doing?'. The last 50 guys that came up to her said 'how's it going?'
(waitress comes up, HB8 brunette)
waitress: You guys ok? (pours water)
Wing1: We're fine, we'll be talking here for a while...
Wing2: (to waitress) How's it going?
Me: (to waitress) Can I get your number?
(waitress gives me weird look like I'm some kind of freak)
(wings look visibly embarassed)
me: eh, I'm just kidding (smiles)
Wing1: But not really.

Work on:
I have to learn rapport. This has been the common thread so far. I will do some more reading on this. I think I need 3 really good openers that I can just use and practice.

Date: June 13, 2006

Location: Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, IL

Solo Sarge

This is totally weak. I basically only did this one because I'm in the middle of a boot camp right now and I need to rack up the numbers, also the girl was hot.

Another one of my ridiculous car hook up attempts.

I'm on my way home from work, I get stuck in traffic on Lake Shore Drive. I look over and there's this totally hot HB9 brunette short hair chick in a black sports car, blasting the hip hop.

(I roll my window down)
me: Excuse me!
HB9: Yeah? (rolls her window down a little)
me: Do you know how to get to O'Hare Airport?
HB9: You need to take 90/94.
me: Which way do you go?
HB9: You take 90/94 west, there should be signs...
(I notice she has Florida plates)
me: Are you from Florida?
(traffic starts to move)
HB9: Yes.
me: Can I get your number?
HB9: No.
(she drives off)

Um, another brick in my place I guess.

Work on:
I'll never get laid this way. I may also be the first guy to make it through week 4 of the SS boot camp without developing any rapport building skills. This is the last of the car hook up attempts for now.

Date: June 11, 2006

Location: Punk Rock Concert, Wicker Park, Chicago

Solo Sarge

Background
After doing some brainstorming about possible venues for solo sarging, I came to the conclusion that a good option for me would be local rock shows, preferably sparsely attended local rock shows where it's easier to mingle with the crowd. I've been a musician and a big fan of underground music my entire life, and I love going to concerts anyways. These are great because it's one of the few places I can think of where it's not unusual to be flying solo - you're just another music hipster nerd in thrift store clothing, there are always a few of these in the crowd - I always sort of felt like I was out alone at local rock shows anyways even when I'd go with other people.

Tonight I decide to take my solo sarging to another level and actually do some serious approaching. I decide to attend a punk rock concert in Wicker Park. Show starts at 9, there are 3 bands on the bill.

Now that I'm home I'm really glad I did this - my idea was right on the money. Great venue for practicing approaches. There are, however, certain limitations to this type of scene, as there are with any scene: namely, people usually go to these things in groups, you get tired from standing up for hours on end, often times the music is too loud to actually hear what people are saying, the crowd can sometimes be on the younger side although that was not a problem tonight, greater risk that whoever you are hitting on is a lesbo and that guy who is giving you EC is gay, on the whole less attractive but infinitely cooler people imho than the sports bar meatheads I ran into during my last field report.

For reference: headlining band tonight was a Japanese punk metal band. First opener was a pretty good grunge rock type act, second opener was a goofy punk band that I couldn't stand to sit through.

Approach 1 - Attempting to mingle a little before the first act
There is an HB6/7 Japanese punk rock girl at the merchandise counter, selling vinyl albums, buttons, and t shirts. I hear her talk with a very distinct Japanese accent. I approach.

me: Are you in the band?
HB Japanese punk rock girl: No, I just
me: Ohh you run the merchandise for them.
(she nods)
me: Where are you from?
HBJPRG: Tokyo.
me: How long have you been here?
HBJPRG: An hour.
me: I meant in the states.
HBJPRG: (takes a long time to answer due to the language barrier) A week.
me: Where have you gone?
HBJPRG: LA...
me: Have you gone to New York?
HBJPRG: Yes. (she hands me a band sticker and a flyer that says '2006 Tour', and points out that they played last week in NYC)
me: Where else are you going?
HBJPRG: Indianapolis
me: (nods sympathetically at 'Indianapolis')
HBJPRG: Texas
me: Dallas is cool.
HBJPRG: We're going back to New York?
me: Where did you play there?
HBJPRG: Maxwell's.
me: I used to see a lot of shows at Maxwells when I lived in NYC.
HBJPRG: Then when we come back to New York we are playing CBGB's.
me: I used to live by there on the Lower East Side. I love Japanese music!
HBJPRG: (nods, smiles)
me: Do you like Acid Mother's Temple.
HBJPRG: (nods, smiles)
me: I saw them a couple of times. Kawabata is brilliant. They played here with Kinski.
HBJPRG: Ah.

It was then that some white guy comes up to her, seemed like a close friend, and starts talking Japanese. Then a Japanese guy with a mohawk comes up to her and kind of eyes me warily. I realize that I was just hitting on the girlfriend of one of the band members. I detach.

Key Factors: The language barrier plus the boyfriend were a big obstacle. I'm really glad I didn't try for the number close, since then I'd definitely be hitting on her and I really like her boyfriend's band. Plus later on I stand next to her and hang out when I start to feel like too much of a loner.

Work on: Possibly work on being able to better judge if someone has a bf. Who knows.

Approach 2 - In between sets of the first and second band
I am standing against the wall by the stage, basically giving off the 'sex vibe'.

I look over and there's an HB9 blonde indie rock chick standing next to me. The interaction that follows is interspersed with a lot of EC, hair twirling, kino and heavy vibing. My favorite set of the night, too bad it bombed.

me: That was pretty good. Are xxxxxxx on next?
HBBIRC: No they don't go on until 11:15.
me: They're pretty great aren't they?
HBBIRC: Yeah.
me: I'm nonchalant. What's your name.
(shakes hands)
HBBIRC: I'm HB blonde indie rock chick.
me: What other albums of theirs are good?
HBBIRC: I don't really know, I don't listen to a lot of their stuff.
me: I love Japanese music! Do you like Acid Mother's Temple?
HBBIRC: I haven't heard of them. What's a good album?
me: They have like 50 albums, Kawabata's a genius. I think he has a solo album out. Do you like Boris?
HBBIRC: I haven't heard them either.
me: Do you like the Melvins? They sound like the Melvins.
HBBIRC: No...
me: This is a great club. I've never been here before.
HBBIRC: It actually used to be a bordello!
me: I can kind of see that.
HBBIRC: I'm actually the promoter!
(I'm thinking 'what? shouldn't you know more about this type of music then?')
me: What are some good shows coming up?
HBBIRC: There's this band called Man Man, best show I've seen in a long time.
me: What are they like.
HBBIRC: Like Captain Beefheart, Frank Zappa.
me: So weird jazz.
HBBIRC: Yeah. They're playing Pitchforkfest.
me: Hey I'm going to that.
HBBIRC: Cool.
me: They have hip hop downstairs. Do you book that too?
HBBIRC: No. We have Aceyalone coming.
me: I like some hip hop like that def jux stuff, but I typically like rock music.
(FOCK. She ejects!@)
HBBIRC: Well it was nice talking to you. (walks off)
me: Nice talking to you.

Definitely a quality woman, hot and cool as hell. It was a long set - like 10-15 minutes of talking. Maybe this was already too long of a set, or she had to do some promoter stuff before the show. I think if I go back the door is open to talking to her again.

Key Factors:
Convo flowed because I knew my sh*t about music. Made a mental note to myself to learn more about the Cubs when I went out last Friday to the sports bars with my wings. Context is everything.
Good EC, good kino, good attraction level (from what I could tell imo). If I was better I could have definitely gamed this one, as I was getting a heavy attraction vibe. Ah well 'just another brick in my palace'.

Work on:
Nervous. FOCKING. Body language! Plus it was hot and I was sweating, probably made me seem even more nervous. This only got worse as the convo continued and probably negated the attraction vibe.
More EC, more kino. No rapport/comfort building on top of the attraction. No C+F, no negs.

Approach 3 - In the middle of the second band's set
The second band plays a quirky brand of loud abrasive punk rock with a minimal level of proficiency. They have an annoying 40 something year old singer who is prone to convulsing onstage almost like a simulated epileptic fit. I notice that an HB7 blonde tattooed punk chick has been standing at my side the entire set. I engage.

me: These guys are crazy!
HBBTPC: Heh yeah.
me: I liked the first act better, what do you think?
HBBTPC: I can't hear you! (points to her ear, indicating the music is too loud for her to hear my question)
me: (I repeat my question)
HBBTPC: I can't hear you over the music!
me: Ah well. (I throw up my hands)
HBBTPC: (laughs, pats me on the shoulder - was that kino?)

My question hangs in the air, making it a little uncomfortable for me to continue standing next to her, so I detach. I go stand next to the HBJPRC at the merchandise booth.

Work on:
In between sets is when to make your move at these types of things.

All in all, I had a lot of fun on this solo sarge. I really would have liked to have attempted a # close on one of them, but honestly the opportunity didn't really present itself.

Date: June 10, 2006

Location: Wrigleyville sports bars, Chicago, IL

Players: Me + 4 wings

Background: It was a rainy, drizzly night. One of my wings got really drunk and tried to jump a picket fence outside one of the Wrigleyville bars. He slipped because the fence was wet, and he fell on his face. His face was badly bruised, he was bleeding. He broke his glasses. We asked around from bar to bar from some tape so that he could tape his glasses together, he is practically blind without his glasses and we had to lead him around for most of the night. We made up a story that he got in a fight, and that was how he got this way. The story eventually evolved so that by the end of the night he took on five guys and took two of them out.

Approach 1 - Corner of Addison and Clark
This street is filled with sports bars left and right. Me and two wings stood on the street, two HB8/9's hot brunette and hot blonde with streaks walk by.
Me: Hey.
(Girls glance at me and keep walking, I get in their way a little bit to try and slow them down.)
Me: Do you guys knows where the bars are at?
(Girls give me weird faces, smile, but keep walking.)

Lesson: I should have persisted. Good opener though.

Approach 2 - Corner of Addison and Clark
Same scene, a couple of minutes later. An HB6 Indian chick, and 2 HB9's blonde and brunette walk by, the HB6 stops and pulls out her cell phone, either calls someone or receives a call.

The 2 HB9's stop and call back to their friend.
HB's: Amy! Amy!
(Amy is talking on the phone, ignoring them)
Me: Amy! Hey your friends are calling you.
(Amy ignores us)
Wing (to girls): Hey what's up.
Wing2 (to Amy): Hey Amy!
HB9 (to other HB9): She's sh*t faced.
Wing2 (to Amy): Hey sh*t face!
-HB9's immediately turn to Wing2 and go off on him
HB9 blonde: Who are you calling sh*t face *******. Look at you! Fatass!
(the 2 HB's continue to give him sh*t)
Game over. I detach.

Lesson: Wing2 is an idiot, these girls are b*tches with no sense of humor.

Approach 3 - Goose Island Bar
Me and wing at the bar. HB7 blonde with glasses tan sportcoat, and HB5 fat latina walk up to order something.

Me (to HB7): Hey.
HB7: Hey.
Me: Did you guys just come from John Barleycorn's?
HB7: No.
Me: Is that place cool, there's a long a** line.
HB7: I heard it was cool.
Me: This guy said that beers were really expensive there.
HB7: (says something which I forget)
Me: So where you guys coming from?
HB5 (grabbing HB7): Come on, let's go.
(HB5 pulls HB7 away)
Me (to HB7 as she is being dragged away): Hey can I get your number?

She looks back at me as her friend drags her away.

Lesson:
No technique at all here. Here I am completely talking out of my a**.
No attraction/comfort building, EC, body language, C+F, negs.

Approach 4 - John Barleycorn's
Me and wing spot 3 girls, HB7 brunette short wavy hair, HB7 long straight hair, and HB5 short quiet Latina sitting alone at a table. We implement the 3 second rule and approach.

Us: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Us: How you guys doing?
Them: OK.
Us: We're nonchalant and wing, what's your names?
Them: HB7 brunette wavy hair, HB7 brunette long straight hair, and HB5 short quiet Latina.
Us: You have to meet our friend, this guy is awesome. He fought five guys tonight.
Them: whoa.
Us: He took two of them out, come with us, he's over by the bar.
HB7 brunette long straight hair: no tell him to come over here.
Me: Ok, hold on. (I walk over to drag wing2 to meet the girls. Wing2 is trying to fix his glasses with duct tape at the bar with the wing3 and 4)
(Wing2 ignores me, trying to fix his glasses.)
(I walk back, wing1 is still making convo with the girls.)
Me: Come with me, he doesn't want to come over. You have to meet this guy, he's awesome.
HB7 brunette wavy hair: No, tell him to come over here.
(I walk over to grab wing2, he's still fixing his glasses. I walk back and join in with wing1 who is now focusing on HB5 quiet Latina.)
Me: So where you guys from?
Them: She's from XXX suburb, we're from around here.
Me: I live around here too, these other guys are from XXX suburb.
(Wing2 comes over and joins in for a while, then his glasses break again and I have to help him get to the bathroom. I come back as Wing1 is still gaming the 3, but focusing on the Latina. When I arrive Wing1 detaches to get a beer.)
Me: So how long you guys been here / what are you drinking / having a good time etc.
Them: yadda yadda yadda
(I decide to # close.)
Me (to HB7 brunette wavy hair): So I should go back and talk to my friends - but I told my friends that I'd ask for your number. Can I get your number?
H7: Yeah. You got a pen?
Me: No, tell me I'll remember it.
HB7: It's XXXXXXXXXX, now repeat it to me.
Me: XXXXXXXXXX
HB7: No, you got a pen?
Me: No, hold on.
(I detach and walk over to the wings. 'Hey dudes I got a number!' 'Whoa.' 'You got a pen?' 'No.' - I walk back to the HB's. 'Was that your home or cell number?' 'Cell' - I just dial the number in my cell phone.)
Me: Ok now I'm going to walk over to the bar and call you ok?
HB7: Ok.
(I detach, walk over to the bar and call her. She answers. 'Hi'. I walk back to her.)
Me: Thanks I just won a bet and five dollars.
HB7: You should give me a cut.

I detach and walk back to my friends. I don't go back, Wing1 goes back to the HB's, and tries the same 'my friends made a bet with me to get your number' routine on the HB5 quiet Latina. He gets denied.

Key Factors:
Group interaction was key here.
I could tell from EC that HB7 was into me.
Wing1 chose (unwisely) the shy quiet one, he should have chose HB7 brunette long straight hair, who was as lively as my HB and probably would have played along.
Having balls to ask for her number in front of her friends probably helped me out a lot here.

Work on:
I should have persisted, I guess. Although, I wasn't that into it.
After a while, I had nothing to say to them. My conversational skills are cr*p. No use of C+F, negs, or body language. I lucked out that this one basically thought I was cute.

Approach 5 - John Barleycorn's
Here we are bullsh*tting with the HB9 brunette busty bartender.

Me: Is that absinthe?
HBBBB: No.
Wing: Look at this guy (points to Wing2) he got into a fight with 5 guys tonight.
Me: He took two of them out!
HBBBB: heh.
Wing2: (asks HBBBB a question about when they're closing or something)
Me: Can I have your number?!!
HBBBB: NO! (rolls eyes, walks away)
(She comes back, wings start talking to her about the 'fight'.)
Me: Can I have your email?
HBBBB: NO! (rolls eyes)
Wing2: You can hit him if you want.

Key factors:
I noticed that, like all the women I've attempted to # close so far, she smiled and kind of rolled her eyes. Noone so far has been mean about it. In fact, they like it, even if they deny you.

Work on:
Just another brick in my palace.
No technique, just drunken shenanigans. No rapport building, C+F, negs, etc.

Approach 6 - John Barleycorn's
The bar is closing, they are pushing us out. On the way out me and wing spot 2 HB8/9's at the bar, HB snobby blonde and her friend HB cute chubby blonde.

Us: Hey. You guys having a good time?
HB cute chubby blonde: Yeah.
Us: Where did you go tonight?
HB CCB: We went to XXX and XXX.
Us: Man our friend got into a fight with 5 guys tonight! You should have seen it! He took two of them out, you have to meet this guy!
HB CCB: heh.
Me: Can I get your number??!!
HB CCB: (laughing, rolls eyes) No!
Me: Can I get your email??!!
HB CCB: (laughing) No!
(HB SB turns her back to us)
Wing: You know who we saw tonight? EMILIO ESTEVEZ! I was like EMILIOOOOO...
Bouncer: Ok, you guys out!
Us: Well it was great to meet you. See you around.
Wing: (shakes her hand) I'm wing.
Me: (shakes her hand) I'm nonchalant.
HB CCB: I'm HB cute chubby blonde.
-Her hand feels really good in mine, she's the cutest of the whole night that I talked to. I make a lot of EC as I shake her hand and she's giving me a goofy look.

Key factors:
Again, the group approach was a huge plus. I don't think I could have approached this fine HB cold/sober.

I noticed that, like all the women I've attempted to # close so far, she smiled and kind of rolled her eyes. Noone so far has been mean about it. In fact, they like it, even if they deny you.

Work on:
Just another brick in my palace.
No technique, just drunken shenanigans. No rapport building, C+F, negs, etc.

I had nothing to do last night. I was folding laundry and feeling sorry for myself when I thought, screw it, I'm going to go out and at least practice being social and sarge some girls, even if I get rejected it beats sitting around.

So I got ready. I chose as my first destination this bar that gets an attractive crowd close to my house. It is a cool place, I'd been there a number of times in the past. Since it is close to my house, I thought that it would be a good idea if I start going there on a regular basis. It would make a good place to sarge alone, and a good place for before or after partying, before going out to other clubs, since it is open really late - til 4 - and my place is close by so I could invite people over easily too.

I go there and the place is semi busy. There are a number of people sitting on the couches/tables they have in the large area, dance floor is full but people are just standing about. I sit down at the bar and order a beer or two. I strike up a conversation with this shaved head guy sitting next to me about the boxing match on one of the tv's. He seems to be a cool guy and we talk and drink for about an hour and a half. It turns out that this guy is one of the DJ's at this bar, and tonight is his night off. He gives me his card and tells me to come by when he is spinning. We talk more about clubs in the city and about music, nice guy.

During this time, there is a HB blonde who is obviously drunk as hell dancing around me and (I think) giving me signals. There are people she is hanging out with too - I gather from observation that she is a waitress there also on her night off and that I had managed to sit down in the middle of a group of people who work at the club. Since I had been talking to the DJ guy, they were all acting friendly around me. I decide not to sarge the HB blonde because I plan to make this place my regular hangout and there were a lot of guys around her by now. I look around the room and honestly, all of the girls there were involved in groups of 3 or more sitting around in tables. I guess I could have sarged, but I honestly don't have the skill to walk up to a 3 set or higher sitting at a private table. I shake the DJ's hand, and make plans to check out his set later. I decide to leave while I still feel good about at least being social at this place, and having a decent time on my own which is really surprising.

On my way home I am feeling good and decide to really go for it. I turn my car around and make for this really hip part of town my friends and I had went bar hopping at the weekend before. This is the coolest strip of bars and clubs in town - at least in my opinion - this is Wicker Park Chicago, btw for you locals. Last weekend I sat around with my jaw on the floor checking all of these incredibly hot babes, I made a couple of weak attempts to approach last week but last night I was all energized for some reason. I told myself that I would go and approach all of the HB's and go for it, even a rejection would be cool for the experience.

Honestly I would have done it, I was feeling that good. Then my phone rings. A side story: earlier in the day I was looking for something to do and answered a girl's craigslist ad to meet up for drinks. I emailed her my number and told me to call me - well she was calling me and she had a sexy voice. Turns out she's new in town from nyc, since I had lived there we had a lot to talk about. She had a sexy voice and I was making pretty good game on the phone with her so I invite her out for a drink with me. She says ok.

I honestly should not have done this and went onto Wicker Park to sarge alone like I was going to - but at the time a live girl on the phone with a sexy voice willing to meet me for drinks seemed a better option than sarging alone. Well, she was not much in the looks department and I was disappointed. I took her to this wine place and we talked for about an hour. She seemed like a cool person though, she wanted me to hang out with her and her friend at the Blues Festival this afternoon in Grant Park but it was too early for me and I told her - I probably won't be able to get up that early but I'd like to hang out with you sometime so give me a call. So I made a friend, I don't want to get with this girl she is simply not up to par. She may have cute friends though, or be someone I can hang out with in the clubs in the future as social proof.

I was thinking when I got up this morning: I had a great time just going out by myself, it was actually pretty liberating. I don't have to sit around waiting to see if my friends want to do something, and I don't have to feel like a loser when I have nothing to do - I can go out and meet people, have a good time and sarge. And I made a couple of social connections which may pay off in the future in some way. That was my night. I may actually try sarging alone tonight too.

The thing is, whatever happens to me,

no matter how low I feel, no matter how alienated from society and unwanted I feel sometimes, no matter how many girls reject me or ignore me, no matter how disrespected I feel by people in general, no matter how marginalized I feel in my family unit,
no matter what happened to me in the past and no matter what horrible choices I've made that I'll have to live with, no matter how many people let me down lie to me or betray me,
no matter how hopeless I feel, how pointless things seem, or how much time I've already wasted, no matter how insurmountable the obstacles may seem, no matter how paralyzed I feel with depression, no matter how random and cruel of a place this world seems,
no matter how much random tragedy happens to me or how much it seems like I can't get a break in this life, no matter how hard I try with no results,

I'll never give in to depression or hopelessness, and I'll never stop trying to figure out and master my life. I'll die fighting because I deserve to be happy and I think I'm a worthwhile person, even someone who has many unique and beautiful things to offer the world. On a night like this when it seems like I'm alone again in the world I have to remember that time is all I have and not to waste another second of my life. I must keep moving forward. There is a beautiful life waiting for me if I can just remember to be good to myself and always do the right thing.

Broke out of the pattern of the past 5(!) months of total depression and apathy about everything in
my life. Namely, I started cleaning up my apartment and began the long process of getting my life i
n order. This was number one in my prioritized list of things to do, followed closely by organizing
my finances and getting school/work together. I don't feel suffocated in here anymore. I cleaned
for four hours. I'm still not even close to having the place completely organized. I honestly have
about a week of four hour cleaning sessions before the place is completely organized. It will be w
orth it when it's done, but I'm really happy I at least took this first step after a long time of ju
st not caring but hating myself at the same time because I let everything in my life deteriorate to
such an extent. I feel like my mind is clearing. I am already getting excited about how I eventual
ly want this place to look, about having people over, having parties. I'm manifesting a new life fo
r myself.

Friday night hanging out with my shyness support group. A lot of new faces, I don't feel like I bel
ong in the group any more but I went to hang out with Jason. Afterwards, we went barhopping in Wick
er Park, making half ass attempts at meeting women. It was a really enjoyable night. I'd like to h
ave more of those types of nights in my life, good friends are hard to find. There were so many bea
utiful women out on the town too, it really inspired me. One of these days those women will be part
ying with me in my cool apartment and I won't have all this inner turmoil.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Monday, June 26, 2006

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Monday, June 12, 2006

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Friday, June 09, 2006

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Blog Archive