Another brilliant idea

This one is actually my wife's, what can I say, I married a very smart woman - investigate freelancing websites, bid on jobs that interest you, this may even eliminate the need to pursue professional certifications.

Album, or song?

Today on my run I got the bright idea to start recording an album of original music. I guess I'm tired of playing covers, it just seems pointless after a while. Let's take stock of how far I have to go: I'm a decent guitar player, but I'm not as good as I want to be. I know some stuff about digital recording and sequencing, but I'm far from being an expert producer. I've never written a full song that I was happy with, and lyrically I feel as if I have nothing to say.

First things first I guess. Garageband is very much a toy, for one thing if I'm going to record original music I need to be able to sequence my own drum tracks - so I'm looking into this step sequencer plugin for GB callediDrum. Been looking into upgrading from GB to Logic Studio, but GB is free and Logic Studio is like $1000, maybe I should try making songs on GB first.

Even if you're never awake

We found out two days ago that my dad's chemo is not working and that he has less than a year to live.  My mom is really upset, I feel like we need to support her as much as possible at this time.  My dad has been in and out of the hospital ever since his chemo started about3-4 months ago, he's just getting worse and worse.  The pain medications don't really help,he's always suffering from abdominal pains.  So the cancer that was in his colon has spreadto his lungs and will probably rapidly take over his internal organs.  My mom and dad told me the term for this type of cancer, I can't remember what it is right now, but it's very dangerous.  It was such a shock to hear this, especially since we've been dealing with my dad's illness for so long, trying new treatments and such.  
I haven't even talked to my dad.  I've talked to my brothers and mom, but not my dad.  For the first day I was surprisingly calm, which turned out to be a delayed reaction.  Now I freak out about it pretty much all day long.  I have to keep myself busy with other things, if I slow down enough to think about it I have to catch my breath.  Yesterday at work was really tough - I had some pretty hardcore meetings that I had to go to, it was difficult to keep myself focused.  I couldn't go to the hospital last night because I had to take care of N. and she can't be at the hospital around all those sick people.  I'm going to go today probably.  Last night I tried went out for dinner with K. and N., went home and put N. to bed, then I tried to play guitar but I gave up after an hour and laid on the couch with my head in K's lap and we watched The Pink Panther 2 until we fell asleep.

Explosions In The Sky - Your Hand In Mine

What I happen to be jamming to this morning at work! I always thought this band was way underrated.


Explosions In The Sky - Your Hand In Mine

Post reunion

Guys-

I had a really great time last Saturday at our reunion. It didn't seem like reminiscing at all to me - more like I was meeting new friends, or old friends that were so old that they were new again! I left pretty early, but I probably would have hung out a lot later if we didn't have to go back and pick up Nina. On the way home my wife was saying that she should have probably left me with and I could've caught a ride home with some of the people that live in the city. I was struck by how well everyone was doing in their lives and how healthy everyone seemed. I was really nervous at first walking into a room full of people I hadn't seen in a quarter century, but I didn't feel intimidated really as everyone was sort of a big family as we've always been. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk longer with a lot of you, I would have stayed and had a heart to heart with every one of you and you would have probably gotten sick of me! I know I asked you guys to keep in touch, and I really meant it - we have to sell our condo first, but when we move to a bigger place we'll probably throw a party and I'd love it if you guys would come over. And if you're ever in the city and are interested in going out for lunch or something, look me up, seriously! My number and email are on my profile. Also - if you know of any classmates that I should facebook friend, please suggest them to me! I'm not going to go snooping around your friends looking for them myself, it feels too voyeuristic. Man, it was really good to see you all again - you guys know that I wish you the best of course! Let's stay in touch ok?

Your friend,
Red

If only summer rain would fall On the houses and the boulevard

N. sick, I had a dinner planned to celebrate K's 30th birthday last weekend, in laws in town and reservations made at this fancy restaurant downtown. Had to cancel everything - N. has a bad fever, K. took the day off from school today to take her to the doctor. These are busy times - JCB's pig roast last weekend (haven't seen him in a long time, I really like that guy - it's just hard to get together these days as I'm a dedicated family man now and he's still out on the prowl out at the clubs), Aliana's bday party at the park. Had a cookout at my parent's place on memorial day, we had a bit of a scare with my dad a couple of weeks ago too - he had to go into the ER, I think what happened was he overdosed on some of his painkillers for the chemo, he's going through some pretty difficult treatments, but there has been some positive news lately - he's eligible for a type of treatment that has a really high cure rate. The only thing is that I'm worried that he may not be strong enough to handle all the treatments after all his health problems the past couple of years. He'd probably scoff at that last statement though, and I've underestimated his tenacity before. Feel like I'm barely handling my life, although I admittedly have high standards for myself. Guitar playing is going so so - I finally posted a video on youtube, the more I watch it the more I want to redo it, trying to work on my technique and it's going very slowly - usually what happens is I spend a lot of time being frustrated, then all of a sudden it just 'clicks', I hope that happens soon. Running is going pretty well - I'm up to 11 mile runs these days, feel pretty good about this half marathon in August. Have been running with N. on the lake - the long runs on the weekends all the way to like Navy Pier are beautiful, it's a great time of the year to run, N. seems to enjoy it too. I have to raise $750 for this race in August as I'm committed as a charity runner for the American Cancer Society - the first time I ever did anything like this, I figured it's for a worthy cause but now I'm worried if I can raise the money with all the people I know, I'm going to have to start bugging friends and family about it. Work going badly, have been too exhausted, frustrated, and/or lazy to put in any serious overtime - I'm resolved to start working overtime again this week, I just feel better about myself when I work some overtime and do a little research on the side. Also resolved to resume my efforts to get my Java cert this year, I'm about halfway there I think at this point.

The thing K. and I are most excited about these days is potentially buying a new place. We went to visit a loan officer at the bank a couple of weeks ago - he told us we'd be a shoo in for a loan if we can just sell our current place, and our real estate agent told us he's pretty confident he can sell our current place if we can declutter it and make some minor improvements. So we've been really busy getting our place ready to sell. K. and I have become addicted to shopping for places on Trulia. There are some awesome places for sale in Chicago these days - looks like we're not going to be able to make much of a profit if we sell our place, but the good news is that whatever place we buy will be extremely discounted. Looking forward to setting N. up in her own room (it will probably be a Hello Kitty paradise), taking her for a walk around the park in a cool new neighborhood (we have a few places in mind on the N. side), maybe a guitar room for myself. Hopefully this will all come to pass in the next few months.

I love this comment

"I am a generation older than you. You need to focus on one word in your post. Entitled. You aren’t entitled to sh1t, and being smart doesn’t make you worth anything to anybody. You need to work hard. You need to love something and do whatever you can to make it happen. You need to stop whining. Nobody cares that you are self-aware or that you filled your head with ideas you can’t seem to find a use for. Except maybe your parents.
The world is full of people struggling just to survive. If you don’t understand the depth of that, stop reading blogs all day and go take a trip. And don’t just go shopping for skinny pants on that trip.
Go find your own path. You can’t hate on office drones for finding their own happiness between the lines. Because the reality is (coming from somebody who has never really had a normal job, and who has managed to support themself by one form or another of whoring out their creativity and thinking) all that is really important are the little things. The other shit you think is so credible, important and worthwhile is just empty. Go be a hit BLOG house artist. You’ll see how quickly that demystifies and how full of shit people are.
Find somebody and something to love beyond yourself."

from hipsterrunoff - he kind of schools carles, but I still think carles is awesome