Day 2 with HBRussianGirl

Date last weekend with the exotic HBRussianGirl. I really like this girl, she's just a really cool person all around. This was just a nice sweet date, I had a really good time - even though I was worried I didn't make that great of an impression. I basically threw out all my C+F PUA shit out the window and just acted naturally. Which is probably a bad idea - because in my case, acting naturally means acting like a depressed guy who needs to be on prescription antidepressents.

I picked her up at 7 and we hung out til around midnight. I took her to my favorite bars in Wicker Park, and this vegetarian restaurant. It was a nice night so we walked around a lot. She is funny and sweet, I feel like I can really talk to her. She's also pretty hot.

It was also pretty interesting - there's this point in all my dates when my date looks at me and says something like: 'you're pretty depressed', or 'you look so sad', or 'you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders' (that's my favorite one, some teacher chick I went out with last spring said that). I'm not exactly Mr. Happy Go Lucky jokester, not surprisingly girls pick up on this pretty quickly. This girl turned to me and said 'hey you look stressed' - then she wanted to know what my problems were. My problems are so vague and nebulous - like how am I going to describe to her in a few seconds my long and convoluted relationship with my parents, or my recent troubles with the law? I just can't. I thought it was cool that this girl actually didn't hold it against me, and tried to be cheerful for both of us, and tried to relate to me even though I wasn't exactly Mr. Good Time party guy.

All I got was a kiss. But I called her up again today and told her I wanted to make her dinner at my place this weekend. She seemed excited about it, and told me she would bring cookies. So this weekend I will have this girl in my Seduction Location. Now I have to learn how to cook...HBRussianGirl

Under construction

This blog is being temporarily being renovated while I get used to this new Beta Blogger template.

Trouble

I have not posted in a while. I got in a bit of legal trouble, I won't go into it. Effect was there, it was pretty horrible. I've been kind of dealing with the emotional fallout, my relationships, lack of cashflow, etc. on top of all these emergencies at work and a really bad case of seasonal depression. I won't lie to you, my state is absolutely horrible right now. I'm a complete mess, it's not the worst I've ever been but it's pretty bad. I'm trying to meditate more lately, I need to find a way to stop myself from being so negative and pessimistic. I've been so depressed lately that I stopped trying for a while.

We went out a couple of nights in the past few weeks, for the most part I've been hiding in my apartment. I had a few approaches, a couple were actually not bad - but I ejected because of my chaotic state. One night I had 3 drinks and I started puking everywhere. I don't know if that was something I ate or if it was psychosomatic. I'm better now - I miss my friends and I want to go out in the field again.

John keeps pushing the idea of prescription meds, maybe I should listen to him. I'm still being a little bit stubborn about trying them because I'm scared of the side effects.

There have been a few positive developments: I have quit smoking again. It will be hard when I get back in the field but I'm going to try to keep it up. One bad side effect of this is that I've been eating a lot, it's been cold and I've been really down so I haven't been exercising as much as I should. I've been meditating more. Work is generally getting better, I had a few emergencies the past couple weeks that freaked me out but I'm done with those. I took out a personal ad and a few girls responded. I am still talking to a couple of them on the phone and email - they are both cute. One wants to hang out tomorrow or Saturday. I have also been playing a ton of guitar, and I've started another blog, this one about music.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I am thankful to have come in contact with you guys, I've learned a lot about life in the past year - I still have a way to go, but I'm glad that I've made some good friends at least.

242 approaches,

Six months

I wrote this a couple of days ago when something I read online made me feel particularly disillusioned with the game. This does not reflect my official view, it is something that occured to me at one time:

Most people think pua culture is either a scam or manipulation of women. I've read this type of thing multiple times in the past week: '... I don't think the 'game' matters much. I think 'game' is just a BS concept created by this male pickup artist culture. all those fancy pua guide terminology serve only to convince the average guy he can't succeed with women without all the seminars and articles and dvds that cost $$$'

Sometimes i think that is right. Out of all the books out there, there is little original information. a lot of the information gets repeated in various ways.

And i think, especially with mm literature, there is a big focus on mechanics - i.e., did you disqualify after opening? did you dhv before going into c2? - all of that just seems trivial compared to the big things, which are trying to improve yourself as a person, and making an effort to develop your social circle.

I think that me and my friends have been working on the game for six + months now, trying to refine our 'game'. Really, the best thing it has done for us was to get us out there and forced us to take the initiative for a change. The other stuff - when and how you disqualify, what types of DHV's, C2, whatever - these are trivial compared to making yourself into a person of value.

People Aren't Romantic

I was thinking about how girls aren't very romantic. At least all the girls I've ever met, and especially the girls on the personals sites want everything and are very superficial when it comes down to it. Even the quirky art girls are picky, hell even the fugly ones are stuck up these days. You'd think all they'd care about is whether or not you can tell them a joke that will make them laugh, or how you know all the cool concerts to go to, or your intense knowledge of Tarkovsky's films, but it's not like that. They still care about your job and your money, and they care the most about your looks, although their idea of what is aesthetically pleasing is slightly different from your average yuppie bar whore.

It is only after they have decided that you are 'boyfriend material' that they will attempt to get to know you on a deeper level. Then I thought - it's not just women, it's everyone. Who am I to judge, it's not like looks aren't a very big deal to me either.

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder

Utah on fastseduction irc is always pushing the DEL, so here it is:

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder

Foolproof Physical Escalation
in Half the Time

he DiCarlo Escalation Ladder is a step-by step formula, followed by a number of laws which govern it's use for maximum effect.

It is designed to provide a smooth escalation, containing no significant jumps that may cause a woman to object. At the same time, the DEL contains no extraneous steps which are non-essential to the seduction process. This results in a FAST escalation sequence which is compatible with a variety of verbal structures, and has been field tested and perfected by myself, Vincent DiCarlo, in hundreds of trials.

Without further marketing, hype or other bullsh*t, I present... the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder!


1. Eye Contact and Initial Conversation
Eye contact is the first step. It's use shows social awareness and always improves your chances of starting a conversation. Start your conversational game shortly after eye contact.


2. Incidental Class 1
The first class of incidental kino involves the arms and hands. Shaking hands, tapping people on the shoulder and brushing arms are all very common things that we do on a daily basis. Done in an incidental manner, ie. occurring merely by chance or without intention or calculation, it is extremely effective at building initial comfort.

Incidental Class 1 Examples:

Hand shaking
Arm brushing
Light touching on her arm to emphasize your points
Anchoring her arm near elbow to hold her close as you talk
Standing next to her with your arm touching hers
High Fives
Palm Reading
3. Overt Class 1
There is an unmistakable recurring pattern throughout the DEL: incidental kino, followed by overt kino. Overt means open to view or knowledge; not concealed or secret. While incidental kino is usually done in a context which masks your intention, overt kino is not. The incidental kino which precedes it creates the familiarity necessary for the overt kino to be accepted.

Overt Class 1 Examples:

Holding hands
Arm in arm escorting
4. Incidental Class 2
Class 2 kino involves any contact which takes place on her torso or legs. This is slightly more intimate than class 1, but does not include erogenous zones such as her breasts, crotch or inner thighs. Those areas are not paid any direct attention until the escalation ramp - to be defined later.

Incidental Class 2 Examples:

Standing very close with your legs touching hers
Sitting close together with your legs touching hers
Lightly and incidentally brushing her abdomen with your hands while talking
Briefly touching her back with your palm while speaking as if you are pulling her in to hear you better
5. Overt Class 2
Overt class 2 kino is usually done while sitting down. It's not necessary, but definitely a smart place to make the transition to sitting down. This class of kino should be done in a protective, almost romantic manner.

Overt Class 2 Examples:

Frontal Hugging (done best as a positive reaction to her compliance)
Escorting her through the bar with your hand on her lower back
Sitting next to her and placing her leg over yours
Holding her abdomen on the side while sitting down and talking
Placing her hand on your thigh
6. Incidental Class 3
Her hair, face and neck are the regions included in class 3. Many guys make the common mistake of touching these areas too soon, with a girl they first met. Girls are surprisingly protective of their hair, face and neck placing these relatively high on the ladder. Another common mistake is that more experienced guys will generally skip this step altogether, only to face last minute resistance later on.

Incidental Class 3 Examples:

Brushing (or pretending to brush) something off of her face
Talking very closely with your face touching hers because the environment is extremely loud
Touching an interesting neckace she's wearing, meanwhile allowing your fingers to lightly caress her neck
Playfully pinching her cheeks
7. Overt Class 3
The manner in which kino is delivered in overt class 3, is very direct. It is meant to prepare her for kissing, and is done in a very slow, gentle and romantic way. Most of the time you should be sitting down, relaxed and maintaining a good sexual state and strong eye contact.

Overt Class 3 Examples:

Placing her head to rest on your shoulder
Moving your face into her neck and smelling her
Lightly stroking her face with your finger, close in, looking into her eyes
Running your fingers through her hair, close in, looking into her eyes
Holding her behind the neck with your palm to the side of her neck, looking into her eyes

Escalation Ramp

While the above steps from 1-7 may take anywhere from 30 minutes to 10 hours, the escalation ramp is very rapid. The duration of the ramp should be about 10 - 30 minutes. Start the ramp very quickly once you have complete isolation in a sex location.


8. Kissing
Start kissing from a very close proximity. Don't come diving in lips first from three feet away. Ideally you should already be in a suitable position for kissing before you try. If you have overt class 3 kino taken care of, you're probably in the right spot.

A technique for building sexual tension - move closely in, slowly as if you might kiss her, and then move away and start talking about something else. This will build the tension and she will wonder when you're going to actually kiss her.

A technique to initiate kissing - try placing your finger just underneath her chin and pulling her mouth towards yours.

Kissing should be light and short at first. You should be the one to pull away first. Don't use too much tounge at first, just use it to tease her, and build anticipation.


9. Kissing Her Neck
Once you have kissed her for a bit, move down to her neck. Kiss it gently, while holding her close to you. Depending on how rough you want to set the mood, feel free to throw in some gentle biting too.


10. Touching the Bare Skin of Her Back
Once you have established kissing both on her mouth and neck, move your hands to her waist and underneath her shirt. Continue to hold her close to you, now with your hands directly on her back.


11. Stomach to Stomach
Now that you have established touching her skin, below her shirt, simply move your hand to the front, and lift her shirt, exposing only her stomach. At the same time lift your shirt as well so that your abdomen is in direct contact with hers.

It seems innocent, but will meanwhile trigger intense sexual feelings inside of her. The only time she feels contact like that is usually when she's naked and having sex.


12. Kissing her Body
Having her shirt pulled up affords the opportunity of moving downwards to kiss and caress the bare flesh of her abdomen. Start kissing her there, along the sides, and move upwards.

Touching and kissing the breasts is optional. It is not necessary, and in some cases can be detrimental to your progress. There are some women who have a negative anchor to their breasts. Inch toward their breasts and feel her reaction. If she becomes increasingly turned on, then go for it. If she starts to close down, skip the breasts until you are already having sex.


13. Incidentally Stimulate Vagina
While you are kissing her body, you can position yourself between her legs and use your midsection to rub against her vagina. If you are kissing her mouth you can position your thigh to stimulate her vagina.

You can also be kissing her body and reach between her legs and plant your hand on the bed below her. Then use your forearm to stimulate her vagina. The key here is that because you aren't using your hand or fingers, she has no basis for objection.


14. Direct Vaginal Stimulation from Behind (Inside Panties)
Once you have really amped her up by incidentally rubbing her vagina, move your hand around to the back and slip it inside her panties and touch her naked ass.

Next, move your hand all the way down and reach her vagina. Start first by touching the area around it. Then proceed to finger her from behind. Women never expect to have it happen this way. Trying to reach your hand down the front of her pants will often be resisted, but from the rear is unexpected and effective.

If she is wearing a skirt or dress, you will instead move your hand up the back of her leg, and reach her vagina that way. Finger her and then proceed directly to step 16.


15. Direct Vaginal Stimulation in Front
Get her heated up by fingering her, and then when once she is sufficiently turned on, undo the front of her pants with your other hand.

You can use the Situationally Relevant phrase "My hand is being crushed" as you do it, although it's usually not necessary. Since she is engaged by the fact that you are fingering her, she will rarely object to your simultaneous undoing of her pants. You may also have her undo her pants, by saying "Unbutton your pants." as you are fingering her.

Moving to the front, you'll be able to get more penetration with your fingers, and get her to the point where she is practically begging for sex. Use a firm "come-hither" motion pulling forward on the front vaginal wall and stimulating her g-spot.


16. Remove Her Pants, Sex
The idea is to get her so heated up by fingering her, that she makes a commitment to sex, verbally or physically.

There are a few ways to go about this. Firstly, it is very important that you don't stop fingering her before her pants are off. Too many times a guy will stop fingering her, and then try to take off her pants, only to get more resistance.

While fingering her you can say "Do you want me inside you?" Which will usually get a "Yes." response. At that point you say "Ok, take off your pants." and continue to finger her until her panties are off, and she's ready to go.

Another option is to skip the question and directly tell her to take off her pants. Usually with your fingers busy at work, she will be more than compliant.

Another technique is to ask her "Do you want me to get a condom?" In 90% of all girls you ask this, they will say "Yes." Not because they are saying they want sex, but because they want to appear safe and level headed. You will interpret this as the permission to get a condom and have sex with her, and it will most likely be met without opposition.


***

Additional Points

1. Higher Levels Unlock Access to Lower Levels
The rungs of the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder may be treated exactly the same as compliance levels. The point is, any time you reach a higher level through situational relevance, it unlocks the lower levels automatically.

A good example of this is in a loud club or bar, you can reach in and talk directly into her ear, getting incidental class 3 kino, touching the side of your face to hers. You are speaking to her in a way that is dictated by the situation, so it is accepted. If you accomplish this without her resistance, all lower levels will become unlocked.


2. Execution of the Escalation Ramp
The escalation ramp, which consists of steps 8-16 is most effectively executed in isolation in a sex location. It is not efficient to start the ramp with the intention of finishing it at a later time. Starting the ramp without finishing it will lead to an increase in flaking and decrease a woman's attraction toward you.

This is because these sexual behaviors were formed thousands of years ago when we were still living in caves. The natural instintual urges, combined with a lack of knowledge of modern-day sexual consequences meant that escalation with a woman would 100% of the time lead to sex.

By executing the ladder correctly, you are matching her genetic sexual programming and giving it to her the exact way that she wants it.

It is acceptable to do the first part of the ramp - kissing - outside of a suitable sex location, but only if you plan on completing the ramp later in that same meeting. It's not to say that kissing a girl on a non-sex meet will destroy your chances, but it certainly won't improve them. Kiss-closes may look impressive and feed your ego, but aren't technically optimum.


3. Incidental Vs. Overt Kino
There is always a question as to how to execute these different pieces of kino. In general, you should spend most of your time in the incidental phase, getting her comfortable with contact in those regions.

This pattern of incidental followed by overt is almost a like a Jedi mind trick. Use the incidental kino in a very non-invasive, very much under the radar manner, and her subconscious will automatically accept the subsequent overt kino.

Since she accepts the overt kino, it is through a process of backwards rationalization that her attraction for you increases. The key is to make the overt kino extremely short. Each overt phase in the initial ladder should have a duration of 5-10 seconds. You're not going to be holding her hand in the club for 5 minutes at a time while in class 1. Keep it short and sweet.


4. Group Ladder Theory
There is quite a bit of evidence supporting the idea of a "group ladder" concept. Within a tightly knit group of girls who share a "collective emotional state" with each other, it is possible that whatever step on the ladder you achieve with one girl can transfer over very easily to the other girls in the group.

In a sense, each group of girls has a ladder, which represents your escalation with that group. If you can comfortably touch and hold a girl at a certain point in the ladder, it creates an implicit trust of "this guy is cool" for the other girls in the group at that same level. Keep in mind, however, this does not include the escalation ramp, although it has been observed to happen with kissing quite readily.


5. DiCarlo Escalation Ladder as a Standalone Method
The DEL provides both a sufficient framework for escalation and a linear step-by-step process such that it could be used as a standalone method. You can use one of the many popular verbal structures out there, but basic conversational skills will suffice, given an elementary understanding of the ladder.

There is an inherent value and attractiveness to a man who can escalate in such an intelligent and socially aware manner, which is why your verbal content does not matter very much when using this method.

The DiCarlo Escalation Ladder combined with enough conversational skill to disengage her critical mind is a very powerful, yet "natural" method.

Vincent DiCarlo

Theory of Free Time

How much free time do you really have?

I've broken it down like this:

Monday through Friday, I have to work. I work 8 hours a day, with a half hour commute both ways if I am lucky - that's 9 hours. Figure in the time I have to shower and get ready, I give myself an hour for this so it's not like I'm rushing around. That puts me up to 10 hours. Now I have to sleep - I can get by on less than 8 hours of sleep, I can make it ok with even 5-6 hours a day, less than that and I am a zombie. But let's say I am giving myself a full 8 hours and am always well rested. So I am up to 18 hours. That leaves me with 6 hours. I give myself about 2 hours of unwinding time - that is, time to veg out after work, make something to eat, or just sit there and do nothing and kind of decompress if I've had a hard day at work. That leaves me with 4 hours. 4 hours of free time. 4 hours a day to do stuff like: work out, practice guitar, work on my personal programming projects, do some reading, write in my blog, organize my finances, start a side business, get a real estate license etc. All of the various non sarging related projects and goals that I've set for myself - I don't count sarging because it is more like fun to me. So the breakdown for a typical weekday goes like

Weekdays
-------
Sleep 8 hrs
Work 8 hrs
Commute 1 hr
Shower, get ready 1 hr
Relax time, eating 2 hrs
FREE TIME 4 hrs

So on the weekends - let's say I give myself 8 hours of sleep on Saturday and Sunday, and I give myself another 2 hours to shower and eat. I have 14 hours of free time on the weekends.

Weekends
-------
Sleep 8 hrs
Shower, get dressed, eating 2 hrs
FREE TIME 14 hrs

I like to relax on the weekends, so I doubt I would be doing productive stuff for 14 hours on Saturday and Sunday. I like to be lazy, surf on the internet, go out sarging, basically be non productive and let my mind decompress. But on the other hand, I don't like to go an entire weekend without having done anything productive. I'd say about 10 hours productive time on the weekends is a reasonable amount to shoot for. Likewise, I'm not going to have energy to do stuff every night when I get home from work - sometimes I'm just completely worn out, or maybe I want to go out and have fun - so I'd say about 15 to 20 hours of productive time Mon-Fri is a reasonable amount to shoot for.

Time is more valuable than money. There's nothing I hate more than realizing I just spent the entire night doing nothing, even an hour a night of doing something productive is infinitely better than doing nothing all night. And - just like, if you don't know how much money you actually have in the bank, you are more prone to spend it frivolously - if you don't know how much free time you actually have, you're more prone to squander it.

So I'm imagining a healthy level of productivity - where 0 hours of productive time means that I'm being a total lazy slug, and 38 hours of free time means that I am basically using every available minute of time a week to do something productive, which will probably never happen. A healthy level of productivity is somewhere between 20 and 30 hours a week of free time used in the pursuit of doing something productive that will move me closer to accomplishing personal goals or advancing in my career. Which fits in with the theory of 'millionaires typically work over 60 hours a week' I got from the 21 habits of millionaires book. If I can make use of my available free time this way, I will be living a good life, and inevitably good things will start to happen.