I had an off night, some approaches - not nearly as many as I should have. No luck at all. By the end of the night I was down on myself and feeling miserable. Absolutely not in the right state to approach, I just couldn't really get it together.
What I wrote to Thomas 94305 re: the bar game
Quote:
| Last night I realized the same thing - how the bar game is a whole other animal than the day game. You have to be much more 'on', a lot more upbeat and agressive. *your energy has to be higher than their energy* - or else they won't talk to you because you will just bring them *down*. There are a ton of people there, it's loud, everyone's been drinking. There are a lot of other dudes there also, and you will have to be social with them too. It is just a lot more intimidating then when I stop a girl on the street at 4 in the afternoon with noone else around and ask her for directions. The payoff, though, is that there are a lot more HB's out too - and they are dressed to kill, and are generally in the mindframe to f*ck. It is a gold mine if you are ready to face it. I went into it thinking that I would do a canned 'routine' - namely, the 'cold girlfriend' routine from Mystery's site. It went really well actually. A lot of those canned routines from the pua materials seem like they'd come off really artificial, you just have to deliver them the right way, which takes practice. You have to be comfortable in a bar setting and with interacting with strange people. I had a hard time with this last night ...Another thing I realized last night - after the approach, even if it goes well, then what? you need a follow up, you need several follow ups actually. It's better if these things come in the course of natural conversation - but some canned follow ups help. I lost out on one approach that was going well last night because I had no follow up and the situation got uncomfortable. I guess this is called 'stacking'. So I used to think that those canned routines were not for me - that I don't do 'cold reading' or 'opinion openers' - that they were too contrived and gimmicky, like card reading - but they serve a purpose. Unless you instantly click with a girl and have a ton of sh*t to say with her for some reason you better have the first fifteen minutes of conversation ready to go in your head, you don't have to have them memorized - but you should have various bits of conversation ready to go, preferably well rehearsed so they seem natural sounding. |
-this thing with my car that happened yesterday, I kept thinking about all the money it was going to cost to fix, it was seriously bringing me down.
-Father's day tomorrow. I kept thinking about getting together with my family, I don't know why this brought me down so much but it did. Family issues that I won't go into here are a large part of why I'm in therapy now. Therapy's helped fix some of my family problems, but I still have a lot or work to do in this regard, my inner game won't be completely together until I deal with this area of my life.
Wingman background:
I went out tonight with my wingman - a semi-PUA I met at this 'PUA group' I met off the internet last week. A nice guy, he knows his material inside and out, he's done a lot of approaches and the dude has balls of steel. Not very smooth, lacks 'finesse', but this guy can walk up and talk to anybody. I saw him get dissed to his face (he kept trying to run the 'core values' test on a 4 set and they just refused to play along, called him 'creepy'. he just turned to them and said 'well I've talked to other people tonight and they were a lot more fun. have a good night'. Balls, baby.) I saw this guy walk into the bar and bust out 4 approaches in less than an hour on large mixed sets. Balls. He's a nice guy - he kept 'feeding' me material and trying to 'coach me' on stuff to say, especially later when I just lost it entirely and my energy level was down the sh*tter. A nice guy, really helpful, I learned a lot from him just talking to him and observing how he interacted with people. But I have to admit the constant coaching and feeding me routines and openers' got maybe a little annoying. I just didn't feel like I was ready to run the 'cube' on mixed multiple sets yet, as I still feel like I'm working on building up my balls to approach. There were also a couple of times tonight when I felt he was not that great of a wing, althought he's a great PUA - and messed up my game. I didn't mention any of this to him, as I felt it was the opportunity to watch someone who was actually good in action was worth more than getting a chick's number.
A learning experience I guess... I have to really work on my bar approaches. I haven't had any luck in bars yet, there are so many HB's in those places it just blew my mind - I feel like I owe it to myself to keep working on this area of my game. So far street approaches are coming along nicely for me, though - it's just something about all the other dudes and the loud atmosphere that kind of throws me off. I think with practice I'll probably relax a little more.
Date: June 17, 2005
Location: Coffee Shop, Chicago, IL
Players: me + wing
Me and wing are sitting in the coffee shop looking at seduction literature on my laptop when 2 HB's walk in. HB7 brunette in black dress and HB8 short blonde hair and cat eye glasses. They sit down next to us and start surfing the internet on the public computer at the coffee shop. They appear to be googling for bars and clubs.
I notice EC from the HB brunette, she sits down across from us on the couches at the front of the coffee shop. I bust out 'Hi'. I go to the bathroom, when I come back he is engaging the 2 set, we find out that they are from Seattle, that they are actresses, I ask them about why they're in town (acting class at the Art Institute), how they like Chicago, which bars they went to so far, what they're doing that evening. I ask where they're staying. The HB8 lets it slip that they are staying with her boyfriend. Great. Then a mixed group comes in and meets the 2 - looks like the boyfriend and a group of his friends. We say nice to meet you and exit. We should have stayed in the set, I could tell from EC and body language the HB7 thought I was cute.
Positives:
EC from the HB7, engaging convo with her. I'm getting better at noticing EC and IOI's from girls. I actually got quite a lot of that last night, we realistically could have persisted with this set because there was still one single girl, but we left, probably because we were already planning to bail for the bars.
I am getting good at saying 'hi' to cute girls without hesitation.
Work on:
No DHV, no C+F, no negs, we did not persist.
Date: June 17, 2006
Location: Wicker Park, Chicago, IL - strip of bars around Milwaukee and North, place is jam packed with bars and clubs
Players: me + wing
Another retarded street approach, this got a chuckle and a smile at least last week so I thought I'd try it tonight just to get my energy level up. It bombed.
We are walking on the sidewalk, 2 HB8 blondes are walking in the opposite direction. I try to make EC, they weren't returning the favor.
me: You guys know where the bars are at? (we are surrounded by bars)
HB8's: There are bars everywhere on the street. (impatiently, they keep walking...)
Positives: no positives.
Negatives: stop being retarded. This line does not work when you are moving in opposite directions, worked better when you are in a goofy mood and stationary, as they walk by.
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