How to Succeed in Life as a Late Bloomer
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Not all of us are quick off the mark and succeed early in life. Some of us are like slow-boiling pots, who need time to gather wisdom and make sense of the world around us. But watch out when a later bloomer finally gets it - late bloomers are often the driving forces in the world because they have spent a long time digesting ideas, information and knowledge just to come up with some amazing solutions to the world's problems.
Steps
- Determine if you are a late bloomer. There are many ways in which your blooming could be delayed:
- Educational late bloomer. This could mean that your grades at school were so-so until the end of your school years, when suddenly you blossom and outstrip all the clever kids in one set of exams.
- Career late bloomer. It could also be that you have spent the first 15 - 20 years of your adult life wondering what career you want. Then you suddenly fall into it and do brilliantly.
- Social late bloomer. When everyone else was racking up their firsts, the idea of making new friends and dating was foreign--perhaps terrifying to you. That is, until one day, you realize that talking to people isn't nearly as scary as it seems, and your social circle unfolds.
- Educational late bloomer. This could mean that your grades at school were so-so until the end of your school years, when suddenly you blossom and outstrip all the clever kids in one set of exams.
- Don't fret if you are a late bloomer. It means you are a deep thinker and you are connected to the world in a way that is different from the "rush-rush, achieve-now" crowd. When your clever, fast colleagues are suffering from burn-out, you are just on the rise and are ready to take over the helm. People tend to make poor decisions when they're in a hurry to keep up with everyone else's timeline; be glad that you were spared that and, as a result, can make better decisions and fewer mistakes.
- Know your strong points. These include reflection, consideration and patience. Use these to build up your self-confidence and to tide yourself through life's low points when you feel that you are swimming against the tide.
- Keep an "Ideas Book" handy - perhaps next to your bed or in your bag. Whenever ideas strike you (and late bloomers have many ideas), write them down. You may be wading in indecisiveness at the time but that idea has significance and may be very useful later on when you come back to it.
- Try not to feel left behind or envious of friends and colleagues who have already "made it" or seem better adjusted to the world than you. You are just taking longer than them and your results matter a lot to you. For you, the journey matters as much as the outcome. There's no point in comparing yourself to others. Accept that you are an individual human being going on an individual route at an individual pace.
- Recognize that others may turn to you when they need to calm down. Use that skill to boost your self-esteem as much as to help them. Also realise that this is an important skill and maybe use it to your advantage in choosing a vocation, career or lifestyle.
- Enjoy your eventual success and build on it. It took you a long time to get there but bets are, you know what you are doing far more than those who got there earlier and people will start to come to you as they have great confidence in your experience, knowledge and the fact that you have thought so deeply about everything and reached your own conclusions rather than parrotting someone else's.
- Record your thoughts. Your process of getting to where you are will likely help someone else, especially other family members. Traits like this can be easily inherited and if your children or another family member can be helped by learning about what you have gone through, then you will have made life better for someone else.
- Always tell yourself that it is good to be a late bloomer. Trust in yourself and your abilities, for you are getting there and you will conquer the difficulties in ways that others can only dream of. Instant achievement is not always a fairytale come true - think of the people who are so afraid of being discovered for being a fraud because they don't know what they're doing. Late bloomers avoid that feeling by making sure they do know what they're doing!
Tips
- Be strong and aware of your strengths.
- Be honest with yourself. Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself: "What am I doing that I want to stop? What am I not doing that I want to begin?" Even if you have no idea what your passions and gifts are, undoubtedly you're clear about something in your life. Start there.
- Don't feel blue about being slower to reach goals in life. Your journey is simply slower, more considered and probably you are gathering all the necessary experience to ensure that you get it right.
- Invest time in building friendships. Through friends you will grow more than trying to attempt life's journey by yourself.
- Be creative in overcoming obstacles. Don't let anything, even a lack of money or age discrimination, come between you and your dreams. If you're facing a wall you can't blast through, grab a shovel and dig under it or borrow a ladder and climb over the top! Better yet, just walk around the side. Take Evelyn Gregory, who became a flight attendant for US Air Express at age 71. After being rejected by three airlines, she accepted a job as a gate agent and let the corporate brass get to know her. Six months later, she was hired by US Air Express and flew for them for the next seven years.
- Remember that nothing you like to do is tiresome. From the outside looking in, it sounds daunting to go to medical school at 46, join the Peace Corps at 65, or become a flight attendant at 71. But the truth is that it isn't exhausting; it's exhilarating. It's far more tiring to do something you don't enjoy.
- Cultivate a sense of humor. Laugh often-especially at yourself. Researchers at Loma Linda University in California have discovered that laughter not only reduces stress and stimulates the immune system, but also lowers dopamine levels. (Dopamine governs our "fight or flight response.") In other words, a good laugh can ease the anxiety of risk-taking.
- Help other late bloomers to find their path in life. Reassure them that they are not left behind or less intelligent than other human beings. We're all worthy in this world and we all have a purpose.
Warnings
- On the downside, you can dither for life - avoid the temptation to drown your indecisiveness in drugs, alcohol or mere pleasure pursuits.
- Be careful with money - when it takes longer to get somewhere, you need to be more spartan in your lifestyle and be penny-wise.
- Many late-bloomers are perfectionists, afraid to try or do something until they are good at it. If this is the major reason that you are a late-bloomer, you need to deal with it. Remember that it is better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly. Seek professional help if desired.
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