i am tired of the following bullshit in my life

-i'm tired of not knowing what's in my bank account at any given time
-i'm tired of not having money saved up for investments like spec housing that we talked about last week
-i'm tired of feeling childish because of my inability to manage this area of my life
-i'm tired of feeling like i'm putting off investing in my future because i don't take care of managing my taxes of 401k
-i'm tired of feeling like i'm living day by day or week to week, even though i make a lot of money, just because i'm too lazy or irresponsible to manage my money propertly
-i'm tired of feeling inadequate because i don't have as much money saved up, despite the fact that i make plenty of money
-i'm tired of not having money for vacations or a new car
-i'm tired of worrying about bills i've been putting off
-i'm tired of worrying about my future and never doing anything about it
-i'm tired of always having at least 1 or 2 things that i've been putting off
-i'm tired of having to make apologies for my career, my education, my family life, my relationship with my parents in the past, my relationship with my brothers and cousins now, my relationships with old friends and girlfriends, my interests, my personality
-i'm tired of feeling inadequate in the eyes of my family and myself because of mistakes i've done in the past which i've since made up for
-i'm tired of feeling ashamed for things that happened to me as a child
-i'm tired of feeling like i'm ugly
-i'm tired of this limiting self image of myself as a stoic nice guy
-i'm tired of this limiting self image of myself as quiet or shy
-i'm tired of meeting a girl that i really like and being so nervous around her that i sabotage myself
-i'm tired of always being single at family gatherings
-i'm tired of women treating me badly
-i'm tired of having to prove myself to women
-i'm tired of feeling like i'm not performing well on the job
-i'm tired of feeling like i can't handle competition from my coworkers
-i'm tired of feeling like i'm a pretender
-i'm tired of feeling like i don't deserve to be there
-i'm tired of feeling like i am not loved as much as my brothers
-i'm tired of feeling dependent on the approval of my parents or women or others
-i'm tired of not liking myself, i'm tired of not supporting myself, i'm tired of sabotaging myself subconsciously
-i'm tired of not being at peace with my past
-i'm tired of feeling like i'm just a dabbler in my hobbies
-i'm tired of feeling like i don't feel any passion for anything
-i'm tired of feeling like people aren't trustworthy and are essentially bad
-i'm tired of feeling like i can't handle being a social creature in the world dealing with many different situations
-i'm tired of feeling like everyone is better and more attractive than me
-i'm tired of letting time pass me by without doing anything about any of this