Even if you're never awake

We found out two days ago that my dad's chemo is not working and that he has less than a year to live.  My mom is really upset, I feel like we need to support her as much as possible at this time.  My dad has been in and out of the hospital ever since his chemo started about3-4 months ago, he's just getting worse and worse.  The pain medications don't really help,he's always suffering from abdominal pains.  So the cancer that was in his colon has spreadto his lungs and will probably rapidly take over his internal organs.  My mom and dad told me the term for this type of cancer, I can't remember what it is right now, but it's very dangerous.  It was such a shock to hear this, especially since we've been dealing with my dad's illness for so long, trying new treatments and such.  
I haven't even talked to my dad.  I've talked to my brothers and mom, but not my dad.  For the first day I was surprisingly calm, which turned out to be a delayed reaction.  Now I freak out about it pretty much all day long.  I have to keep myself busy with other things, if I slow down enough to think about it I have to catch my breath.  Yesterday at work was really tough - I had some pretty hardcore meetings that I had to go to, it was difficult to keep myself focused.  I couldn't go to the hospital last night because I had to take care of N. and she can't be at the hospital around all those sick people.  I'm going to go today probably.  Last night I tried went out for dinner with K. and N., went home and put N. to bed, then I tried to play guitar but I gave up after an hour and laid on the couch with my head in K's lap and we watched The Pink Panther 2 until we fell asleep.