Friday, July 31, 2009

Can't help wondering why

This is a transitional time in my life, I feel like I should breathe in every last second of this summer, which is already drawing to a close - this time and place will not come again. We are preparing to move to our new house, we'll never live here again. This is the place where I lived for a time and was lost, and I found myself when I met my wife, and we lived here together and were very happy. And our baby was born and we loved her and were happy together here. But N. is growing up fast, soon she will be a little girl and this place will be too small for us. I don't think I would freeze time so that she'd stay this age forever, but there are worse things that could happen.

I'll just let time run its course, floating along as it drags me in its wake. Now that my dad's passed away I feel like we are entering a new phase of life anyway. Mom's actually handling it better than I thought - we're all sort of taking turns checking in with her and making sure that someone's always visiting her. My aunt and uncle are staying with her for the next week, before they have to fly back to the Philippines and Kuwait. I have to make sure N. visits her grandma as much as possible, I know N. is the person in this world that makes her the most happy. Mom's had a very difficult time for the past several years, we have to help her out as much as we can and let her know we love her. A good thing to come out of all of this is that it's bringing us all closer together. I feel like I'll be analyzing the ways my dad's death has changed my life for a long time.

At the funeral all my relatives were commenting at how skinny I am these days. I still feel fat, but I'll take the compliments. I keep running, I run about 25 to 30 miles a week including the walking I do for cross training. I mainly run on the Lake Shore path. I'm going to miss running by the lake the most about living here. I'll probably drive up to Recreation Park to run my long runs down to Navy Pier even after we've moved, it's simply the nicest running path in the city. But I'll enjoy running around my new neighborhood and exploring new running paths in Lincoln Square.

K. is done with school and off of work. She spends her days preparing to move, packing a little, shopping for furniture for the new house. We have to paint the new house too before we move in. The movers are coming on the 17th so we have to have everything prepared before then. What else. Honestly I'm still a little out of control. I'm trying pretty hard at work, just trying to knock off as many open projects as I can, it distracts me. I haven't been paying much attention to my personal projects like getting my freelance business off the ground, or my certifications - I can't deal with that stuff right now but I know I have to get back to it soon. I mostly think about music, sports, politics - basically stuff in my RSS feed lol. I think about how I can lose weight and I think about how I dread running this race on Sunday. I have to remember to get my race registration stuff tomorrow at McCormick Place. The race is early - 6:30 am on Sunday. Oh yeah I've decided to do another half marathon after this in Madison, WI. God and we have two weddings and babby's first birthday party coming up too. September is going to be pretty busy, which is cool I guess.

I bought 1000 bucks worth of recording software - you read that correctly. I've decided to get serious about writing and recording some original music, and possibly performing. I will record an EP if it kills me, possibly an album. I've decided I want my album to be mainly acoustic, with some non obtrusive drum and keyboard programming. I'm listening to Jose Gonzalez and Nick Drake a lot these days, and Elliott Smith of course. The problem is I'm having a difficult time practicing with all of this stuff going on. I figure things will eventually die down after we move, and then I'll have an extra room to set up as my recording studio. The one thing is I suck at singing, and I really suck at playing and singing at the same time. I don't even know if I'm any good as a songwriter - the few riffs I've come up with so far are not bad though.

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