Phone Sex, The Slump Buster

I'm sick lately. I had to cancel going to the Ultimate Fighting Championships with JCB yesterday, and I've been moping around the apartment all day. It is below zero in Chicago lately, I have not been in the mood to go out because the weather has been so brutal, you feel like your face is going to fall off just walking to your car.

Last night I stayed in and watched a movie. I was really bored, so I called this one girl from online who gave me her number last week. I had sort of written her off because she is sort of larger than I normally go for. She has a really pretty face though, but after evaluating the situation I decided not to pursue it. I do a lot of crazy things when I'm bored, though.

So last night I call her up and I am running game on her just to practice - I run through the 4 questions routine, the road diverges into 3 paths routine, even the goddamn 'cube'. She loves it. 'What are you some kind of psychologist?' she says. All of a sudden she starts talking freaky! She starts taking her clothes off and starts playing with her vibrator and talking all this nasty sex talk. It is late and she does have a sexy voice - so I join in! She has me so horny that I tell her to get over here now, so I can sexx her. She tells me if it wasn't one in the morning and 10 degrees below zero, she would!

She tells me I can call her tonight after I go out with my friends. Which means if I wanted to, I could bring her over to my place and sexx her.

I don't have many prospects at the moment. I have been talking to a couple of women, now but they are not that great. There is also the dreaded AHBRussianGirl, but I've been trying to spend time away from her. Should I just sexx this girl and not tell anyone? I've been confronted with similar situations in the past and I've always decided not to. This time I could just be horny enough to go through with it. I am the world's biggest jackass. I probably wouldn't take her to meet my friends or anything. Does this make me horribly superficial? I like talking to her, and she had me turned on last night, though.

A man gets lonely for female companionship. One friend of mine, he is a natural. I haven't known him for long, but one of our other friends tells me he always has some type of girl. This natural friend of mine tells me to 'harness the power of The Slump Buster'. What is the Slump Buster you ask? The answer, he tells me is this: 'sometimes, you gotta fvck the ugs'. He tells me that when he is in a slump, he fvcks ugs, this eliminates the 'aura of desperation' that surrounds a guy when he is not getting sex. Women can sense that you are getting laid, even by an ug. And you don't care what happens with any one girl because you are at least getting some. JCB tells me that he has had one night stands with some overweight women in the past.


Now, this guy has had a girlfriend for a year. I have seen the girlfriend and she is about a 7 in looks - only barely above mediocre, even by my standards, which aren't terribly high. Seems that the Slump Buster has worked for him but, is he really satisfied with this girl? I wouldn't be, even though that may sound really superficial. Honestly, we could get along and have all kinds of stuff in common, but I wouldn't want to commit myself to that a 7, not when I know that I can get 9's if I really work on my game and push myself.

I've gotten a fair amount of winks online - but they are mainly ugs. My natural friend would tell me to game these girls and fvck them, hence the Slump Buster. I just can't bring myself to do it. I have had two girls in the past week wink at me, and basically give their phone numbers to me and ask me out. I just stopped responding to them because I can't get myself worked up enough about them since I'm not that physically attracted to them.

What is your feeling about the Slump Buster? Do you think I am shooting myself in the foot, cheating myself out of something (sex, a good relationship) because my standards may be too high?

Are you finding it difficult to watch your parents age?

My mom seems to be ageless. She has looked - almost the same - for as long as I can remember, and she seems really healthy as far as I can tell. My dad on the other hand has had a lot of health problems, and is now really sick at times, although lately he seems to be doing better.

We've had a really troubled history, my parents and I. For a number of years in the 90s we didn't even speak to each other. They've really mellowed out the past few years and I've also changed - we've become a lot closer.

Last weekend I was over at my parent's house. My little brother still lives at home, but he is saving up to move out of the house. I realized that I want to visit them as much as possible before he leaves the house, because when he leaves the house it will be an empty nest and it will really be like the end of my childhood in a way. I'm sure once he's out of the house it will make them feel really old.

It's weird how all of the things that I used to be so angry about just seem meaningless now. I can just see that our time together on this earth is fleeting, and one day they will not be around anymore. I really don't like to think about those types of things. Me, my brothers and my dad are planning to take golf lessons together. When I suggested it, my dad just lit up. I think any chance to spend some time with his sons these days brings him great joy.

What do you get when you have 30 lair guys, all trying to be 'Alpha males'?

Answer: A BUNCH OF DOUCHEBAGS.

Privilege

On Saturday night, me and Linux1 met up with Linux2 and WifeOfLinux2 at Bob Chinn's Crabhouse in Wheeling. We got really drunk on Mai Tais, but we ordered wrong - I should have gotten my usual Mahi Mahi instead of the Tuna and Hachami Sashimi.

Afterwards we went to this place called the Living Room, which was totally bizarre - there were no sets. The place seemed to be populated by a bunch of 50 year old secretarial looking women on their day off, and a bunch of middle aged guys in suits. I did an approach - probably the only young-ish looking girls there, but I got blown off.

Later on, we went to this club Privilege by Woodfield mall. This was more my style. I would describe Privilege as being sort of like 720, except there are more white girls there, a fair amount of latinas, a salsa band, a smaller area with beds(?) - I don't get the beds. The women at Privilege were pretty hot. Probably as hot as Salud on a good night, but a little more suburbanish, not that I mind. It is a lot less crowded than 720, but more expensive and you still have to know how to dance, because the music is so loud you won't be able to talk to anybody. So it's another one of these high priced clubs where it's all about how you look and how well you can dance. I noticed most of the guys didn't know how to dance, in fact they were mostly horrible. The guys that were out on the dance floor were either a. dancing with the girls they came with, or b. really really good dancers, and were doing the 'spin move' with random girls. I have to get good at dancing, or at least semi decent. Or at least really drunk so that I don't mind making a fool of myself. Most likely I will just wind up drinking more so that I will have enough balls to rub up on the girls on the dancefloor. Regardless, my smooth lines are going to waste in a place like this. Luckily I have my exotic good looks to fall back on. I told JCB about Privilege and of course he wants to hit it sometime.

254 approaches

Miscelleneous bitching

I have this online dating thing down to a science, and thanks to JCB's recent pics, I'm getting more attention on these goddamn sites. Log on just to answer mail. So I don't have to be logged on all the time, I save their profiles as web archives so I can construct my responses and look at their hot pictures without having to be logged in. Run a search for cute girls that match my extensive criteria, then save their profiles so that I can construct my emails at my leisure. I hate hate hate using them but it's 8 degrees below 0 these days - I'm not going to be walking from bar to bar every night making approaches. It's just not gonna happen. So far, I have gotten like 5 winks last week - one girl gave me her number right away, then never answered when I called her. WTF that was all about I'll never know - she seemed like she might be fat anyway. I gave my number to another girl, but then I never answered when she called me. I kind of had second thoughts about her physical attractiveness after studying her pictures a little longer. There is a cute Japanese woman who has been emailing me - she just seems nice, I'm not sure how well I'd get along with her. She is a really brilliant electrical engineer though, which I find cool. There's this latina chick with huge tetas - it seems like she only logs in once a week or so. There is this really *hot* jewish chick with cute glasses I've been emailing that I hope I get a day2 with.

The old french chick has been looking at my profile online, I caught her viewing my profile again last night. So far I have not messaged her, even though I am pretty much thinking about sexxing her 24 hours a day now. I'm also thinking about all of her craziness and how it may not be worth it. I have decided to give it a week or two and see if she contacts me first. That would make it easier.

AHBRussianGirl only calls me up to come over when she wants something, like when she needs me to help move furniture. She can never get anyone to babysit her kid, and she never wants to do anything fun.

Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along

Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow's never coming

Indie Rock Sluts

Unfortunately we did not meet any indie rock sluts the night me and Linux1 went to see my ex roommate Jennifer play this club called the Beat Kitchen, but I did do one approach - and I got another # close. She seemed like a nice girl and not at all slutty.

Jennifer is a singer songwriter / rocker who I lived with for a number of years back when I lived in NYC. She has since gone on to great success and has procured a major label record contract. She seems to be really gaining in popularity - she's received positive reviews in the Village Voice, NYTimes, Pitchfork, and a bunch of other industry mags. Whenever Jennifer comes to visit, the indie rock is always in full effect. Jennifer is always on tour these days, or recording a new album or something. We sat around my apartment and she showed me her iPhoto albums - I was like 'holy shit' while she showed me pictures of her in the studio with Yo La Tengo and Spoon, and partying on Tour with Destroyer and the Shins. She's really made it, at least from my perspective. I'm really proud of her.

Jen was opening for this band called the Kevin Devine group. She introduced me to the band, they seemed like cool guys. Linux1 and his friend left early but I wound up hanging out with the bands after the show and having a few beers. We tried to get into Schubas but it was late and the club was full so they weren't anybody else in.

The approach was cool, I basically used the 'hey what do you think of that band? that's my ex roommate' approach. I think I even used 'hey this song is about me'. Later, Jen told me that she saw the girls I was talking to, and they couldn't have been older than 21. Great, even I don't stoop that low.

Jen slept at my house and left around noon the next day. She took her Madonna box set and her jacket that I had been keeping all these years. They're hers, anyways.

253 approaches

I dreamed vacations and all things plucked from the vine, I lost my keys in the vacuum of your worried mind

I can't move from sleeping, sleeping is the way that I move ... over the mountains, across the valley and back to you.