I'm Slowly Turning Into You

Some randoms, I don't have a lot of time to write these days, I'm really busy with this business class and other stuff, I'm not feeling conflicted about anything, I'm pretty happy most of the time. Every once in a while - about once a month or so - I experience a mini anxiety attack that lasts for about 10 seconds where I kind of zone out and become paralyzed about stuff that's out of my control like terrorism, the US political system, our society's dependence on fossil fuels, the possibility of nuclear war, overpopulation. These attacks fade out fairly quickly, I just find it curious that they happen at all. I don't think this is normal.

But most of the times, life is busy but generally happy. I've been learning to play golf lately, I go hit golf balls at the driving range with my dad and mom every once in a while. It's a surprisingly complex game. Relations with my family are better than they have been, probably worse than they should be, but overall friendly. I make an effort to see my immediate family every week or so. My cousin Mike - the father of my godson - is having a birthday party soon, which I don't plan on attending. Mike is kind of a jackass sometimes but he's a good guy - the reason I'm not attending is because I don't really feel like hanging out with the whole crew of people on that side of the family like my cousins's friends that I don't know who are generally annoying.

My girl has been sleeping over all the time, or else I sleep over at her house, which I don't like to do because I have a longer commute. When she stays at my house I feel like I have to have a lot of food in the fridge and a really clean house, so it's more work for me when she stays over but that's fine. We are really using the new bed :) it's a pretty sturdy bed, which is good because we broke my old bed. Oh yeah - my neighbors hate us. They bang on the walls and we have to keep the sex noises down at night, which sucks. I tried turning the radio up last night but sexxing to rap music on B96 got really annoying so we turned it off. Most of the time we cook for each other, we sit on the couch and watch CNN, we play guitar or I record her singing her songs on Garageband, we already have a pretty decent sounding song recorded. On the weekends we go walking around the city sometimes.

I took her to meet JCB and his friends over memorial day. JCB btw is with this new girl who is a manipulative AW. She is really turning him into an AFC. Sometimes he calls me with 'why hasn't she called me/what did she mean when she said this', it's really disconcerting to hear him talk this way. I tell him to dump her. What kind of girl will tell you shit like 'JCB, go buy me a t shirt at bluesfest.' 'JCB, go buy me a Tiffany's necklace', 'JCB go buy me a toothbrush'. She really has him whupped, he's always like, 'screw this, I don't need this bullshit', then he takes her back. It's like he's forgotten his training. I want to hook him up with my girl's friend. I told him that we should go to one of his ultimate fighting matches together, as it seems my girl's friend is into that kind of crap.

I'm probably going to be running a 5K in July.

http://www.chicagoevents.com/event.cfm?eid=100

My girl tells me I'm ready, I've been going running with her a lot. I don't feel like I'm fit enough for it, we'll see. What else. I've been seeing a bunch of concerts, I have Ozzfest tix, and I'm supposed to see Poison/Ratt/White Lion in July. I'm going to Second City this weekend. I've basically been going out a lot but not on sarging related excursions. I've been doing a lot of work for this class I'm taking, it's taking up most of my free time. My finances are really shaping up lately. I have everything finally organized, even my house is in good shape lately. We've done so many renovations on it, when my parents came over the other week they were so surprised at how nice it looked. The next thing I'm gonna do is some electrical work, changing lighting fixtures and whatnot. I can't wait til this class is done at the end of the summer, I'll have more time to focus on this certification and planning my next career move. Life will be a little more simple then, hopefully, and I'll be able to do more of my personal programming stuff, although I'm doing a lot of good stuff at work lately. Some weird shit with people I work with, I'm starting to think that you can never get away from the office politics bullshit. Even if I sold everything and moved to Alaska to be a salmon fisherman, there'd be some dude on the next iceberg that would be doing shit to annoy me.

Big ups to all my playas. Hope you are having fun out in the clubs this summer.