I F close again - say what?

I F closed HBPhoneSex. It was like taking candy from a baby, actually. I made her buy me dinner, then I kept pulling her hair and calling her my bitch while we were doing it. Holy crap that was dirty. HBPhoneSex is a dirty dirty girl. This was probably my lowest moment, or my best, I can't decide.

What a wild and crazy ride this life is turning out to be. You know, I wasn't always a superstar. I used to be a boring old AFC. Why would anyone want to be with a boring old guy like me? But things change, my friend. Puzzy rolls in like waves lapping on the shore. And if you've got talent, well - they'll find you.