More word vomit about major life changes

So work is not paying for my phone anymore, and I had to sign on to K's plan. I decided to get an Android phone this time. K. and I walked in the rain to the Verizon store while her parents watched the kids. Later we got dinner at Garcias and brought it home for everyone to eat.

K. set up appointments with realtors to look at new rental properties. We are interested in 3 bedroom places within walking distance of the Metra. She is anticipating the long commute to my new job starting this week, and anyways we wanted to move to a bigger place with an extra room for J. We almost wound up renting a place in Bucktown close to C. and J. - but someone beat us to it, it was small anyways. On Sat., we found a place that is as perfect as it gets - a 3br/2bath place in Old Irving within walking distance of my mom's - all new gut rehab, great kitchen, in unit laundry, first floor, whirlpool, ample space for our various strollers, virtually across the street from the Metra, etc. The only problem with this one is no parking spot - but our neighbors assured us that street parking is no problem.

So we are packing again, preparing to move from this place we spent almost two years at, where my son was born and where my daughter spent most of her life. Really the best time in my life was spent here, we have been so happy here - I'd love to stay if it weren't for the fact that we need an extra room for J. It's crazy to think that in less than a month we'll be undertaking another major life change. We've decided to sell off all our books (this task will be a huge undertaking), and give away clothes we don't need to make the move easier. Oh yeah, one thing that's cool about the place we're moving to is I get to use the spare bedroom as a guitar room. We spent all day yesterday packing and looking up how much we can get for used books online, we'll probably be busy with that type of stuff all month until we have to move on the 27th, and then we'll be unpacking and setting up the new place. It will be a very busy time and it will cost a lot of money to move.

Not to mention on Wednesday I start my new job. I have two days off, during which time I'll probably worry about making a good impression. Feel frustrated with this agency I'm working with, they have not given me much logistical information about the first day on the job, and have been very impersonal after I signed the work contract. K. tells me that she felt the same way a few years back when she worked as a contractor. Feel nervous, as this is totally new to me, feeling like I may have jumped into something without doing the proper research, dragging my family along with me. There's really nothing to research though - you can't tell corporate culture from a google search, there's really nothing to do but show up to the job and do my best.

So that's 3-4 major life changes all at once. We went to a party on Saturday at K's friends house - we talked to some girl there about how we've been hit pretty regularly with life changes every couple of months ever since we met 3 years ago - kids, moving in, marriage, my dad, new jobs, layoffs, moving, etc. I remember when my life seemed to move very slowly and nothing changed for many years. So many things going through my mind right now. Felt overwhelmed last weekend and didn't do anything productive, gave myself a little bit of a vacation since I won't be eligible for vacation days as an independent contractor. Feeling guilty about my family's living situation, and putting them through the uncertainty of this career change, feeling guilty about this tax mixup situation that I haven't written about. Trying to stay positive and put these things out of my mind, it's not productive to dwell on negativity. Thinking about what lies ahead in my career, it hasn't been remarkable so far, I'm really grateful for this opportunity to start fresh. I'm thinking about how on Friday I was talking with D. about how I haven't learned anything on the job in 2 years and am basically leaving to put myself in challenging situations where I can learn new things. As a contractor, my job security, career development, and financial opportunities are no longer determined by managers or office politics. I always felt if I were ever in a situation where my livelihood was directly tied to my hard work and technical skills, that I'd be able to rise to the challenge.