I didn't notice

I didn't notice at first but she had the most piercing laugh. Not that it mattered, because by that point I was totally smitten in the infantile manner in which I used to develop crushes on women in college. It didn't matter that she had a piercing laugh, or a nasally voice, or that she didn't seem very interesting other than she seemed to like generally the same type of music that I did at the time - this was the early 90's so that would be, grunge bands, 'alternative' bands, some indie bands that I namechecked more than I actually listened to. She was very pretty though, in a pale petite exotic way that was appealing to me because I always pictured the girl that I eventually fall in love with to be pale and petite, with long dark hair. I will admit that she had the greatest head of hair I've ever seen on any human being, ever. I also wound up spending junior and senior year in college trying to hook up with women that vaguely resembled her, because I couldn't have her. So I decided I liked this girl, but really I just liked the idea of this girl. Our relationship wasn't anything at all. We went out a few times and talked about life. I didn't really care about her life, and I'm sure I made a terrific impression at the time, as my life was a complete and utter disaster. Practically everything about me was completely destroyed and blown to bits. Family relationships, school career, employment prospects, personal hygiene, substance abuse problems, no money to speak of, no friends, obsessive compulsive disorder, narcissistic personality, severe depression, addiction problems. I could just go on and on. I had dropped out of school and I was not doing much more than daydreaming about sex with her and being a rock star. I don't know what made me think I was qualified to do either of those things, other than I really wanted to badly.