It's like going up to heaven, then coming back alive

I encounter another challenge in life. My wife is a Chicago public school teacher and she just found out she is going to be one of the thousands of cps teachers laid off this year due to budget cuts.
Rage. I don't want to get into how corrupt the government is right now. I imagine there are families across the city are experiencing the same financial worries to varying degrees. A lot of K's colleagues who are laid off are not married but have kids to support, I can only imagine what they're going through. I will say one thing and that's why must government balance the budget on the backs of hardworking people and innocent children while corruption is allowed to continue in all levels of government? They couldn't cancel a couple sweetheart construction deals to save a few teachers? Apparently it's also not so rosy for the teachers who were not cut as they will be forced to take pay cuts, furlough days, pension cuts, and skyrocketing class sizes.
I told K. maybe she should think about getting out of the business altogether, who knows if she'll follow through with it.
Raining hard today as I stare out the window on a train bound for home. I have to run a lot this week - I'll probably wind up running in the rain tonight. Work has been challenging but I feel like I've been holding my own. Pretty good performance review. Missed j's BBQ last weekend due to in laws being in town, I sort of regret that. Worried about money and how well manage now that I'm the only breadwinner. To think 50 years ago it was the norm that only the husband worked, now both parents usually work because it's just that difficult to make ends meet.
Now would be the time for me to step up and get a way better job that pays a lot - tell my wife she doesn't need to work If he doesn't want to. I feel daunted by that notion, I feel like me switching jobs is at least a year out.
In other news I feel fat because I've been eating out a lot. Looking forward to two weeks out of town starting next week - first a work trip to n. Carolina next week, then a week in cancun.
Have been playing around in ableton a lot, so far I have not produced anything I feel is good enough to show people.