We're pregnant!!!!

My life is crazy. Two weeks ago K. started feeling nauseous all of the time, we went to a restaurant and she confessed to me later that she felt like running to the restroom and throwing up. She was also acting really irrational, crying all the time (well, more than usual), blowing up at me for little things. I thought it was just her time of the month, but one day last week she took a home pregnancy test, and it came out positive!

Yesterday we went to her primary care physician and her endocrinologist - they both ran tests on her and confirmed that she was pregnant, and that all of her hormone levels and such are normal. We are due sometime around September. My therapist asked me how I feel about all of this when I saw him last weekend - I said that I felt really really, extremely happy, but also shocked, and also very scared. K. feels the same way.

As an expectant father, of course I'm thinking about money, as we're going to need to move out of our one bedroom apartment in a couple of years and we have so many bills to worry about. I'm also thinking about my career and where that's going. I feel like I have a lot of responsibility all of sudden, but I feel like I can handle it, like I am willing to do anything to make sure my new family is safe and happy. And I kind of like the idea of having to fall back on my myself and my instincts again, of working to provide for the people I love.

Of course our parents are delighted. J. tells me my mom and dad were dancing around the house when we called to tell them. I'm glad that we're giving them something to look forward to, after all the crap my dad's been through the past couple of months. I'm glad everyone's happy. Of course this kind of throws a wrench in our plans for a June wedding - we're going to have to go to the courthouse next month to get married. I think the plan is to go to the courthouse in Feb. but still have our June church wedding, even if the bride has a huge pregnant belly. I can't wait to see my kid - I keep talking about him as my son, even though we don't know the sex of the baby. It's incredible, K. and I had this private running joke about some hypothetical future life with our baby, and he's actually here with us now.