Meet the Fockers

So my girl keeps giving me a lot of shit that I never take her to meet my parents (despite the fact that I've asked her to a couple of times), am I ashamed of her and what not, which is just ridiculous. Typical girl stuff, my therapist says that she is ready to 'take it to the next tier'. I told him I liked the tier that we were on. Next week I'm supposed to go out to dinner with her parents and her brother when they come to town for the triathlon. So I asked her to go with me to meet my parents, brothers, sister in law and inlaws today when we go have lunch to celebrate Father's Day. I called my dad to let him know, I think this is all just entertaining to him.

Last night my girl got pissed at me. I took her to see a show at Second City. They sat me and my girl in the front row right by the stage. I don't know what happened to me, I think it's that I haven't been sleeping that much lately with all the crap I have to do, but I kept falling asleep. She kept kicking my leg to wake me up, towards the end of the night she was pretty angry with me. Imagine those Second City performers with this guy in the front row who keeps falling asleep with his mouth hanging open. Maybe they thought I was retarded or something.

Anyways, everything will be different between me and my girl, and between me and my family, in about 3 hours. I will undoubtedly have a lot of things to write about next week.

I'm Slowly Turning Into You

Some randoms, I don't have a lot of time to write these days, I'm really busy with this business class and other stuff, I'm not feeling conflicted about anything, I'm pretty happy most of the time. Every once in a while - about once a month or so - I experience a mini anxiety attack that lasts for about 10 seconds where I kind of zone out and become paralyzed about stuff that's out of my control like terrorism, the US political system, our society's dependence on fossil fuels, the possibility of nuclear war, overpopulation. These attacks fade out fairly quickly, I just find it curious that they happen at all. I don't think this is normal.

But most of the times, life is busy but generally happy. I've been learning to play golf lately, I go hit golf balls at the driving range with my dad and mom every once in a while. It's a surprisingly complex game. Relations with my family are better than they have been, probably worse than they should be, but overall friendly. I make an effort to see my immediate family every week or so. My cousin Mike - the father of my godson - is having a birthday party soon, which I don't plan on attending. Mike is kind of a jackass sometimes but he's a good guy - the reason I'm not attending is because I don't really feel like hanging out with the whole crew of people on that side of the family like my cousins's friends that I don't know who are generally annoying.

My girl has been sleeping over all the time, or else I sleep over at her house, which I don't like to do because I have a longer commute. When she stays at my house I feel like I have to have a lot of food in the fridge and a really clean house, so it's more work for me when she stays over but that's fine. We are really using the new bed :) it's a pretty sturdy bed, which is good because we broke my old bed. Oh yeah - my neighbors hate us. They bang on the walls and we have to keep the sex noises down at night, which sucks. I tried turning the radio up last night but sexxing to rap music on B96 got really annoying so we turned it off. Most of the time we cook for each other, we sit on the couch and watch CNN, we play guitar or I record her singing her songs on Garageband, we already have a pretty decent sounding song recorded. On the weekends we go walking around the city sometimes.

I took her to meet JCB and his friends over memorial day. JCB btw is with this new girl who is a manipulative AW. She is really turning him into an AFC. Sometimes he calls me with 'why hasn't she called me/what did she mean when she said this', it's really disconcerting to hear him talk this way. I tell him to dump her. What kind of girl will tell you shit like 'JCB, go buy me a t shirt at bluesfest.' 'JCB, go buy me a Tiffany's necklace', 'JCB go buy me a toothbrush'. She really has him whupped, he's always like, 'screw this, I don't need this bullshit', then he takes her back. It's like he's forgotten his training. I want to hook him up with my girl's friend. I told him that we should go to one of his ultimate fighting matches together, as it seems my girl's friend is into that kind of crap.

I'm probably going to be running a 5K in July.

http://www.chicagoevents.com/event.cfm?eid=100

My girl tells me I'm ready, I've been going running with her a lot. I don't feel like I'm fit enough for it, we'll see. What else. I've been seeing a bunch of concerts, I have Ozzfest tix, and I'm supposed to see Poison/Ratt/White Lion in July. I'm going to Second City this weekend. I've basically been going out a lot but not on sarging related excursions. I've been doing a lot of work for this class I'm taking, it's taking up most of my free time. My finances are really shaping up lately. I have everything finally organized, even my house is in good shape lately. We've done so many renovations on it, when my parents came over the other week they were so surprised at how nice it looked. The next thing I'm gonna do is some electrical work, changing lighting fixtures and whatnot. I can't wait til this class is done at the end of the summer, I'll have more time to focus on this certification and planning my next career move. Life will be a little more simple then, hopefully, and I'll be able to do more of my personal programming stuff, although I'm doing a lot of good stuff at work lately. Some weird shit with people I work with, I'm starting to think that you can never get away from the office politics bullshit. Even if I sold everything and moved to Alaska to be a salmon fisherman, there'd be some dude on the next iceberg that would be doing shit to annoy me.

Big ups to all my playas. Hope you are having fun out in the clubs this summer.

How to be charming

from http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Charming

Charm is the art of having an attractive personality. This characteristic can only be achieved over a period of time. While everyone is born with differing amounts of natural charm, much can be acquired and honed through practice and patience. As with dancing, the more you practice, the better you will become. Effort and careful attention to the needs and desires of others will ensure that charm becomes a permanent part of your character.
Steps

1. Improve your posture. Good posture will give the impression of self confidence (even if you don't feel that way on the inside). While walking, it is always important to maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture- spine long, shoulders back. Practicing in front of a mirror is great, also you could ask a friend or family member to help you adjust your stance. This may feel awkward or overpowering to you when you first practice it, but keep trying.
2.
Relax the muscles in your face to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved there. For some people, it helps to dwell on something or someone that makes them happy.
3. Make a connection. When your eyes come in contact with another person's, nod and smile subtly with a subdued joy shining forth. Don't worry about the other person's reaction and don't overdo it.
4. Remember people's names when you meet them for the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people. Repeat the person's name when stating your name to that person will help you to remember it better. For example: "Hi Jack, I'm Wendy." Follow through with small talk and repeat the person's name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. It's not just about helping you to remember that person. The more you say a person's name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance they'll warm up to you.
5. Be interested in people. If you meet a new acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend of a friend, etc. find out about their immediate family and interests. Be sure to ask after the names of family members and remember them. Also ask after their particular interests in life. These two topics will ensure much better small talk than just harping on about school or work. Most people don't like to think about those things at social occasions unless they have to. Even if it is about networking, you should understand fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It is important to refrain from talking up about yourself. Be purely interested and impressed by the person with whom you are speaking.
6. Orient topics toward the audience. This means taking into account topics that interest those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty crowd, talk about last night's game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you are hoping to learn more about it.
7. Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you - "Oh, s/he never has a bad word to say about anyone." They know they and their reputation are safe with you.
8. Be honest. A lie is something you say for which there is some direct evidence somewhere out there that contradicts it. If you tell Mary that you like Jane and Billy that you don't like Jane, Mary and Billy will talk and your reputation will be ruined. No one will believe a word you say.
9. Issue compliments generously, especially to raise others' self esteem. Try to pick out something that you appreciate in any situation and verbally express that appreciation. If you like something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately. If you wait too long, it may be viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially if others have beaten you to it. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of effort into something, compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves (haircut, manner of dress) notice it, and point out something you like about it. If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very general compliment.
10. Be gracious in accepting compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when someone makes a compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the compliment. Go beyond a mere "thank you" and enjoin this with "I'm really glad you like it" or "It is so incredibly kind of you to have noticed." These are "compliments in return." Avoid backhanding a compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive the response "Oh well I wish I was as ______ as you/that situation." That is tantamount to saying, "No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment is wrong."
11. Control your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is crucial. Most people feel insecure somewhere inside and have an inability to accept praise. For this very reason, when you praise, do it subtly and glibly. When you say, "you look nice today" it should be in the exact same tone that you would use to say "it's a nice day." Any variation from your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. And since you will be trying hard to be a breezy, caring, happy personality, your eagerness will come across in both simple and complimentary talk. Practice giving compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Whether your praise is true or not, it must sound sincere! Practice until you get it right.


Tips

* Always remain relaxed. You want to please other people but you do not worry about what they are thinking. If you do, it will be written all over your face and you will be perceived as a doormat or a people-pleaser - a person with a desperate need for others to like them. And remember, what people are thinking is rarely about you. It is generally about themselves and their to-do lists.
* The degree of charm that you possess depends on the creativity of your praise. Say something that is not immediately obvious and say it in a poetic way. It's good to have some premeditated compliments and phrases but the most charming people are able to invent them on the spot. This way, you can be sure that you are not repeating it.
* Every so often you will have no choice but to express an opinion that few others hold (to adhere to the honesty policy). You must do it in a humorous way. Humor is the teaspoon of sugar that helps the medicine go down.
* Empathy is at the core of charm. If you can't tell what makes people happy or unhappy, you have no way to assess whether you are saying the right or wrong thing.


Warnings

* Never argue. Remember if half of the people who hear your argument agree and half disagree, you have failed at being charming. What you say must be pleasing to 100% of the people who will hear it, whether they hear it directly from you or not.
o Be that as it may, remember that arguing is not the same as disagreeing. Feel free to express your opinion, but don't attempt to dominate the person with whom you are chatting.
* Never laugh at your own jokes. That smacks of poor taste. The joke ought to stand alone. You can smile generously. And don't worry if no one else laughs at your jokes. Sometimes people just don't hear or understand a joke. It is as embarrassing for them to miss the punchline, and to have to own up to it, as it is for the person giving the joke seeking to wind up a jovial response.
* Never over-explain anything. To do this is to belabor a point. Unfortunately, it simply confirms a lack of self-esteem in that you do not trust that others have understood your point. In addition, it displays arrogance in that it demonstrates a feeling on your behalf that your listeners cannot think for themselves. People will listen to you when you cut out unnecessary explanations and force them to be active listeners. Trust that your listeners can put two and two together.
* Many people mistake arrogance for charm. In fact, arrogance is anti-charm. Charmers live to please others. Arrogant people live to please themselves. Arrogance only attracts insecure people while charm attracts everyone.

RAMPAGE JACKSON - AWESOME UFC VID

This is the guy that beat Lidell over the weekend to win the UFC title. JCB has got me into this shite lately.

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

some cool advice from http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/10-simple-ways-to-save-yourself-from-messing-up-your-life.html

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.
2. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.
3. Ease up on the internal life commentary. If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.
4. Take no notice of your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?
5. Give up on feeling guilty. Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.
6. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you. Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.
7. Stop keeping score. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.
8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned. The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.
9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.
10. Don’t worry about about your personality. You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.

Payback is a Bitch

My ex girlfriend of 5 years, who I broke up with in January 2006, tends to callme periodically just to fuck with my head. She does stuff like tell me about this douchebag she started dating immediately after breaking up with me. Man I hate that guy, imagine my satisfaction when he turned out to be a violent psychopath who punched a hole in the wall while they were arguing. The past couple of months I could tell by the things she said that she was feeling the situation out to see if I would take her back. Of course I would never do that, although I still talk to her because of all the years we spent together, even though she's a stupid bitch. Last Friday she called me to tell me she broke up with the violent douchebag boyfriend and is single again. I responded by telling her about this new girlfriend of mine, how we have been hanging out all of the time and sleeping with each other. I swear to God she sounded like she was going to cry, then she hung up with 'I have to go.' Last Friday night, while driving back from Evanston, she called again while I was driving around with my girl. I took the call and I could tell she was stoned as hell, as my ex has become a huge stoner after we broke up. I started giving her a lot of shit and fucking with her headabout how I'm with my girl and we are so happy - then I start jokingly asking her if she can send me weed. Then I hang up on her rather dramatically and absurdly - 'I can't talk right now, I have to go to church'. I don't feel bad about this. If you knew all the shit I've been through with this girl, you'd know shedeserves everything that's happening right now, and I know she is freaking out because now I have someone and her security blanket is gone.

Weekend was fun. My girl asked me to help out with this school play of hers, which was mainly an excuse to show me off to her girlfriends, who are also grade school teachers that she works with. It was cute. We went to Ikea on Saturday to buy a new bed, surprisingly it fit into the girlfriend's car. We had to drive all the way home on I90 with no rearview mirror. Then it took a couple of hours to put it together. We were exhausted, but at least we didn't sit in trafficfor 3 hours like last time. Sunday we laid in bed all day watching 30 Rock on the computer, or sitting around playing guitar. It's pretty cool dating someonehwo knows how to play. I cooked her dinner, I'm not sure if she liked it or not. I made grilled salmon and vegetables, I'm also getting really good at makingfruit smoothies. This week I have to really get started with this independent study class I'm taking at Northwestern over the summer. Fucked up billing situation at VW too that I have to deal with.

50 Ways To Increase Your Productivity

In keeping with the idea that this blog should be about personal development as well as meeting women, here are 50 ways to increase your productivity and add hours to your day.
Pretty good list from http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/50-ways-to-increase-your-productivity.html
1. Take a break. You can’t always be working at optimum productivity. Instead, you should shoot for working in short bursts at your most productive times.

2. Set a timer for each of your tasks.

3. Eliminate all distractions. This includes the phone, email notifications, and having multiple web browsers open on the desktop.

4. Distractions should be avoided, but sometimes a bit of music in the background can help you focus. Of course, it doesn’t need to be heavy rock music, but a bit of Beethoven may do you some good.

5. Love what you do. Enjoying what you do is the ultimate way to increase your productivity.

6. Complete your most dreaded tasks first thing in the morning. Whichever activity you are dreading the most is probably the one you need to complete first thing in the morning.

7. Use JDarkRoom. This application allows you to write more efficiently by removing all distractions. You’re given an entirely blank page on which to type. This way, you’re not distracted by the web, e-mail, or IM. When you’re done, you can save your work as a text file.

8. Just start. Often times, starting is the hardest part. Once you get going, you will quickly get into a rhythm that could last for hours.

9. Everyone has a certain time of the day in which they are more productive than others. For me, it’s the morning. Find out when your prime time is for productivity and optimize your work schedule accordingly.
Notebook

10. Keep a notebook and pen on hand at all times. This way, you can write down your thoughts, to-dos, and ideas at any time. The key is to get everything out of your head and onto paper. This way, your subconscious mind won’t be reminding you about it every other second.

11. Write a blog to chronicle your own personal development and achievements. This keeps you accountable and always working towards self improvement and personal growth.

12. Plan out all of your meals a week ahead and make your grocery list accordingly. This will save you quite a bit of time and money.

13. Step away from the computer. The Internet has become one of the number one distractions. To increase your productivity, try to do as much of your work offline as possible. I do this a lot with my writing and have found it to be very beneficial to simply unplug.

14. Write out a to-list each day. I like to plan my day the night before. This way, I can get started on my most important tasks as soon as I wake up.

15. As you go throughout your day, repeatedly ask yourself, “Am I currently making the best possible use of my time?” This one simple question can be an excellent boost to your productivity.

16. Get plenty of sleep. When you work online, sleep can become a long lost memory. However, it’s important to get plenty of sleep so that your working hours can be as productive as possible.

17. Exercise. Research has shown that midday exercise boosts productivity and morale in the workplace. Take a short walk at lunch to maximize your productivity.

18. Organize your office. The piles of paper around your desk can be a huge barrier on your productivity. Optimize your time by organizing your office, setting up a system, and dumping the junk.

19. Outsource as much as possible. Here are just a few of the companies that will help you outsource your everyday tasks:

* GetFriday
* eLance
* Guru.com
* ScriptLancle

20. Use a Tivo or DVR to cut an hour-long television show down to just 40 minutes.


21. Turn off the TV. The average American watches more than 4 hours of television every day. Over a 65-year life, that’s 9 years glued to the tube. Turn off the TV and you are sure to get
more out of life.

22. Listen to educational audio books while you’re driving to work, cleaning the house, exercising, or cooking dinner. Audio learning has the power to add hours to your day. Not to mention, your cranium is sure to thank you for it.

23. Auto pay your bills. This will save you time and eliminate late fees and increased interest rates.

24. Read David Allen’s best-selling book Getting Things Done. This is one of the most important productivity books you will ever read.

25. Focus on result-oriented activities. Pareto’s law states that 80% of the outputs result from 20% of the inputs. This means that 20% of our actions result in 80% of the results. We must find the 20% that is creating the 80% of our desired outcomes and focus solely on those
activities.

26. Take shorter showers. This one may sound silly but it’s actually something I struggle with. I spend up to 30 minutes in the shower. Think of the time I could save simply by speeding up a bit.

27. Tell other people about your goals and you will instantly be held accountable.

28. Learn to say “No”. We can’t do everything and therefore we must learn when to say no in order to save our sanity.

29. Go on an information diet. Most of the world lives on information overload. We must eliminate mindless Internet surfing. Stop reading three different newspapers a day and checking your RSS feeds multiple times a day. Otherwise, you’ll never get anything done. The key is to limit yourself only to information that you can immediately take action on.

30. Find a mentor. By modeling after those who have already achieved success, you will save yourself a lot of time and energy.
Calendar

31. Write your most important tasks and to-dos on a calendar.

32. Set some exciting goals. Without worthy goals, you will never be motivated to get things done.

33. Learn keyboard shortcuts and create keyboard shortcuts with AutoHotKey.

34. Get up early before anyone else. Nothing beats a quiet house.

35. Don’t multitask. Research has shown that multitasking is not productive. For optimum productivity, focus on one thing at a time.

36. Reward yourself for finishing a big task.

37. Shop online whenever possible to avoid going to the store.

38. Batch similar tasks like blog writing, phone calls, email, and errands into a single batch. You will save time by completing similar tasks in one session.

39. Speed up your Internet with a broadband connection. This is the number one Internet time-saver. If you must use dial-up, then you can use accelerators like Propel and SlipStream to double or even triple your speed.

40. Start a polyphasic sleep schedule.

41. Improve your typing speed to save time.

42. Get rid of time wasters. This includes Instant Messenger, video games, Flickr, checking your stats 10 times a day, television, and extraneous Internet surfing.

43. Protect yourself from unnecessary phone time with caller ID.

44. Work from home and avoid the daily commute.

45. Many employers now offer direct deposit. If yours does, then be sure and take advantage of it and save yourself from a number of trips to the bank.

46. Prioritize your tasks ahead of time. By listing your tasks in order of importance, you can make sure that you finish all of your most important tasks during the day.

47. When your reading a book, just read the parts that you need and skip the rest.

48. Cook your meals in bulk so that you will have plenty of leftovers. Avoid having to cook everyday.

49. Learn to speed read.

50. Use Windows hibernation feature to avoid the slowdown of exiting and restarting Windows.